Wednesday, October 11, 2017

sing no more

hi yes i am back. but only briefly!

so i'm hitting publish on this one a little late in the day (i aim for morning publishing usually, but whatevs), but i'm in transit all tomorrow morning after coming screaming back into toronto this afternoon. yes, i got dropped off at the toronto bus station today, went home, unpacked, re-packed, and i'm going to sleep then go back to the bus station early tomorrow morning. considering that i was up at 5 a.m. today (and will be up at 6:30 a.m. tomorrow), i'm basically gonna be running on coffee, fumes, and sheer adrenaline. it's ring of honor tomorrow night!!

so i won't exactly get travel recovery time until saturday; i'm in buffalo all day friday too, for shopping and general mischief. but in the meantime, it's good to be back on the mainland.

birthday was okay, as birthday always is - it can be kind of tricky to maneuver it around the thanksgiving holiday, because it falls on that weekend every year, but at least it's a built-in excuse for me to go home and see my family anyway. plus that means the gang's all here, which means i make out well in the birthday present department:

i love that i asked my dad for a selfie stick - i wanted something easy for him to buy for like $10 at the drugstore or something - and he went out and bought me a legit piece of expensive professional camera equipment. amaze. (i also ended up with plenty of spending cash for buffalo today, as well as some books - the newest stephen king plus meet me in the bathroom and gift cards, all standard and much appreciated)

also, this happens, every goddamn year:

(it's true. hello to all of you.)

and as with every year, i give myself a solid case of indigestion pretty much every night, not just the ones with the massive holiday dinners (and i had two of these, sunday and monday both):

i also always consider it my mission when i'm home to 1) drain as much of my mom's wine collection as possible and 1)a) never say no when offered a drink. this doesn't always lead to the, errrr, wisest choices on my part (take my phone away from me forever), but oh well. it could always be so much worse than what it is.

smash cut to the next day:

(my mom went over the border to pick up a package for me, and since i didn't have my passport on me, she left me alone at a creepy tim horton's. cool cool cool)

fortunately, the weather on tuesday was beautiful and even somewhat soothing to my ridiculous hangover, plus i got to watch wrestling three days straight - a very good birthday weekend for me, all things considering. even though i didn't get out here in the summer like i usually do, it made for some nice hashtag-views:

A post shared by Caitlin H. (@mylovesubliminal) on

i'm always reminded how emotionally draining it is to be home, though; don't get me wrong, i love my family and it's good to see them, but like...i'm so much happier and more at home here, in toronto. i had to put in a lot of work over the years to make myself something different from who i was when i was there, and i don't like going back to it. it's like time travel. it's like looking at ghosts. i don't enjoy all those reminders of who i used to be.

anyway, that wasn't a lot but that's still enough for now. roll on to buffalo and friends and wrestling tomorrow and friday!

[ music | rammstein, "ohne dich" (live in paris) ]