Wednesday, September 13, 2017

must be the moon


A post shared by Caitlin H. (@mylovesubliminal) on

look, i just want it to be fall already, okay? geez. (there is always, always a late heat wave in september in toronto. fucking always. i remember when i first moved here back in 2002, there was a brutal september heat wave that also coincided with a massive garbage strike. this made for a very olfactory memory.)

the current nail polish inspiration is one richard z. kruspe, by the way. (he paints all his nails black except for the middle nail, which is red. our vampire lord rzk is the best lord.)

so the great housesitting/catsitting adventure is over, emma's back home and looking after her tiny panther, and i returned to my apartment last night. it feels good to be back centered in my own home, though - not just getting to sleep in my own bed, but just being back where i live, you know? it's not necessarily about being surrounded by my stuff, because all that's just stuff, but there's a nice comfortable vibe in my apartment and i'm always so happy to be there. ugh, emotions! gross.

plus it's busy as hell over here - tonight is the first edition of ring talks, join ussssssssss:

...then tomorrow, i have to run social for a work event, i get a break friday, then saturday my dad is in town. when you're a retiree and one of your two daughters does not live in the same city as you, you can totally take the time to drive 2.5 hours just to take her out for lunch, i guess. (despite having gone to university here way back in the day, my father does not like toronto all that much.)

but i still find the time to tweet dumb shit and instagram pics of cats and my face so, you know, multitasking! it's my pal.

sunday morning is another small reprieve before i'll be out again for a full day(!) of smash wrestling in the west end. two shows in a row! and then coming up next week is friend hangs and movie dates and many bottles of wine, oh my. (i legit won't even have time to do laundry or buy groceries, gah.)

still, it feels a bit tricky to do all this on so little cash; i'm really, really working hard to keep to my budget for the next little while. i'm conscious that we're in the final stretch of the year, which means i need to keep saving up like mad for the (potential) rammstein tour next year. there's no goddamn way the rest of lifad - yes, it's 2017 and i'm paying annual dues to be in a band's official fan club - gets to go to these shows and i don't. i'm part of the cabal too, damn it.

alright, so to do a bit more of my typical writing about rammstein's music, today i wanted to focus on two of my favourite of the deeper cuts, and i promise i'll try to keep it short for both:

"stripped" (for the masses, 1998)

this one probably isn't a true deep cut - they've been playing it in their current set, and it's very well known (it first appeared on the above depeche mode tribute album, then was later included on their raritäten 1994-2012 album that came out in 2015) - but it's been one of my top songs for over 15 years now, so it counts. it's a cover of the depeche mode single from 1986, which also happens to be one of my favourite dm songs. (funny story: i heard the rammstein cover first, which led me to the depeche mode original, which ended up getting me into depeche mode in the first place. so i have the german dilf squad to thank for leading me to the good boys from basildon.)

but this song stayed with me throughout my late teen years and into my early twenties; i would legit just put it on repeat while i was getting ready to go out to the bars. there was just something so dark and haunting and badass about it, and i wanted to capture that feeling. i've said it before and i'll say it again: the already-sinister lyrics sound even more sinister when it's the most deep-voiced german singing it in heavily accented english. (in his defense, till's spoken english is very good, though they really ought to just send richard out to do all the english interviews because his is perfect. actually, you know what, just send richard and paul out to do the press junket together and watch me die of total fangirl joy.)

plus, there's a tiny change that till makes in the final version of the chorus - he switches between "let me see you strip" and "let me see you stripped". it's a small thing, sure, but i find it incredibly effective (especially considering how much i love and revere martin l. gore's lyrics). there may have been a bazillion depeche mode covers by a bazillion different bands over the years, but even if i wasn't a rammstein obsessive, i'd still call this one of the best ones.

"amour" (reise, reise, 2004)

i have something close to 100 rammstein songs on my ipod right now, and this song is my third favourite of all their songs. (the first two are, in order, "mein teil" and "halleluja", followed by "weisses fleisch" and "mein herz brennt" rounding out my top five.) it is a dark, tiny masterwork buried at the very end of an album - an album which already has a deep, lingering power ballad in "ohne dich" ("without you"), which coincidentally is the preceding track. but "amour" is much more cutting and far less sentimental than "ohne dich"; it's not so much about love as it is about how love can fucking destroy you. (those have always been my favourite songs.)

in pretty much every interview, the band gets asked about why their songs are so obscene, and till lindemann (our beloved meister, poet and pyromaniac) always looks so resigned - like germany's most disappointed dad - before archly pointing out that he writes about love. ("also the perversion of it," he added in an interview from 1998, and yeah, a given.) "amour" is probably, i think, one of the best examples of how rammstein does a love song, not to mention it features some truly great guitar work from richard, plus till howling about how love is a wild animal ("die liebe ist ein wildest tier") that catches you in its teeth and tears you apart. just heartbreaking and fantastic.

but the final clash of sounds is what does it for me - a manic, heavy shift in tempo as schneider just murders the drums, the guitars get that much louder, and till begs for release with "bitte, bitte, gib mir gift" ("please, please, give me poison"). it's an interesting line especially because to anglo ears, it sounds like he's saying "give me your gift", and i would bet legit money that that's intentional. (one of the truest things to know about rammstein is that there's very little they do that isn't intentional. they are a terrifyingly clever band.)

then there's sudden silence, and the song is over, and the entire album is over - it's the final track - and you're left kind of feeling exhausted, like you've just been hit with a freight train of emotions. i mean, you do if you're me, anyway. die liiiiiiiieeeeeeeebe.

more deep/er cuts to look into: "der meister" (herzeleid, 1995), "eifersucht" (sehnsucht, 1997), "adios" (mutter, 2001), "zerstören" (rosenrot, 2005), "waidmanns heil" (liebe ist für alle da, 2009), "gib mir deine augen" (raritäten 1994-2012, 2015), "seemann" (xxi - klavier, 2016), "asche zu asche" live (paris, 2017)

okay that's it gotta run byeeeeeeeeeeeee

[ music | black rebel motorcycle club, "weapon of choice" ]