Thursday, August 17, 2017

into the habit

so, makeup and profanity aside, i did want to mention the nice reaction i got to my post about how i live my strange little life. it's always a worthwhile thing to know that sometimes i can write stuff that's good for other people too. i mentioned that back in march, after i came off my short hiatus, and i said, "honestly, i've always put myself out there through this because i want to know i'm not alone in how i'm feeling, and it's absolutely rewarding when i get responses of 'you're not alone, i feel/have felt that way too' from other people." so, this is one of those good things.

there's just a lot of stuff that i'm glad about right now, you know? i live in toronto, and i love toronto, and there is so much good wrestling out there all the time, and the toronto wrestling community blows my mind constantly, and my beloved german metal dilf squad will likely have a new album/tour next year, and i've got some bomb-ass new coats for the fall, and i'm closing in on half-fluency in deutsch, and i'm gunning for an epic europe trip in 2018, and i've got the freedom that keeps me fucking alive.

so the world is going to hell, sure, but i swear i'm gonna go down fighting and screaming and living for every second of it. try to do the same, if you can.

...and do it in a kenny omega t-shirt, too, if you can:

it's funny how it can still amaze me that i'm doing all this, you know? like, i have a life and a career and a nice apartment, and i take care of my shit all on my own, every day. some people really struggle with independence, and i'm not looking down on that, but it's honestly never been an issue with me. (my father could tell you stories. "you've always needed your space," he says.) it's something i take a little dumb pride in, anyway, that i take care of myself.

(i mean, i know it's a small thing, being proud of regular adulting, but when you're me, your everyday brain is wracked with anxiety about what you might fuck up next - to the point that elaborate scenarios get imagined, none of which could ever happen - so everyday victories are still valid victories)

but the wrestling entertainment train rolls on, with wwe trivia happening last night with likely the most packed house yet:

i mean, seriously, passersby were so interested and confused with what was going on in the bar. we were a good rowdy bunch, and my team placed for the first time (we were initially given third place, later/unofficially rectified to second because i answered a tiebreaker question legitimately correct), and we all got prizes. but honestly, it's always just such a riot to get together with this regular group of smarks and weirdos and hang out for an evening. i feel that way about indy wrestling shows here too, and even the bigger wwe or roh shows - you'll pretty much always see the same people at these things, and for the most part they are good people, which makes it a fun little community to be a part of. i'm thankful.

still on that topic, it's takeover/summerslam weekend coming up in a couple days, although my friends are out of town saturday so i'll likely be watching nxt takeover at home, where no one can see me embarrass myself with how excited i am to see adam cole (baybay), let alone the rumoured "roh stable" that might occur. like, holy shit, i'll die. thank god for there always being wrestling to watch. (my september is filling up so, so fast with wrestling-related events and good times. it's the best to have something to look forward to.)

by the way, i know i mentioned on twitter that i re-downloaded tinder and bumble, but yeah, uh....that lasted two days before i deleted them both again. burn dating apps down and salt the earth so nothing ever grows there again.

(also, someone on sarahah asked me if i'd do a long-distance relationship, and hahahaha oh god no. i'm an insufferable angst-ridden dope of a romantic, which means ldrs are like catnip to me, which means they are the single worst thing i could ever do to myself. again.)

okay, that's it for now. i'll be on the podcast later tonight, so tune in if you want to hear my weird canadian voice ranting about wrestling. be good.

p.s. i've posted this one before but here it is again because i'm very sure my new religion is the way till sings "mein vater warrrrrrr genau wie ich" at 3:14 (plus! listen to the post-chorus guitar breakdown at 1:25! go vampire guitar bros go!):

i'm pretty sure i'm gonna highlight at least one rammstein song per blog post at this rate. sorry, not sorry.

p.p.s. oh, and the gloves have been ordered:

gimmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (it has not been lost on me that i'm a paul girl, yet i'm dressing like richard this fall. yeah, look, i dunno either)

p.p.p.s. number of bras my nipple piercings have begun to eat through due to friction: 1.

[ music | rammstein, "halleluja" ]