Thursday, September 29, 2016

sound and the rhythm

i strive to be this tree:

(also, now that the nights are cooler again, i'm sleeping better than i have in months. it makes such a difference.)

in the meantime, here's a tangent that won't mean too much to my male readership, but oh well sorry my dudes: i find it funny how i've actually gotten more experimental with my makeup as i've gotten older.

it's true that i was a late starter - i once dated a guy who'd been in glam-rock bands, and when i told him i didn't start wearing makeup until i was 20, he jovially replied, "me too!" - but it almost feels like a lot of this effort would have been better expended in my twenties. because like, i don't know about everyone else, but my skin isn't as great as it was ten years ago (read: fine lines), and i'm at that point where i'm starting to wonder if i need to overhaul any of my 10+ year "look." certain makeup applications don't look quite as good when they're sliding into the lines around your eyes and mouth, is what i'm saying.

then again, i'm also feeling the urge to do bigger and bolder things instead. prime example: lipstick. throughout my twenties, i never wore it. i bought in to the (rightful) notion that you can go big on the eyes or go big on the lips, but not both -- and i always, always needed my heavy black eyeliner. so, i only ever stuck with coloured lip glosses, unless i was going out on the town (dark nightclubs and concert venues are kind to both heavy eyes and heavy lips).

but now, in my early thirties, i've super been getting into wild-coloured lipsticks -- either really bright or really dark. here's a badly put-together mosaic of my current faves:

top two: bite beauty in kimchi and radish; middle two: make up for ever by icona pop in midnight blue, mac cosmetics lipstick in antique velvet; bottom two: kat von d studded kiss in wonderchilde, bite beauty in rouge berry. they're either ridiculously eye-popping or crazy dramatic, and it's pretty awesome.

blue blue blue

i don't feel as though i look out of my element wearing this stuff, which is important to me. i don't think i look my age; i certainly don't think i look older than my age (and i have seen some 32-year-olds who definitely do). the important part is to wear these looks with confidence, and to look proud about standing out from the herd. i read this great little story from gq yesterday about the amount of courage it takes to stand out in a crowd, and it really got me. (i was especially taken by the final message at the end: "He did it in the hope of attracting the attention of somebody else — somewhere, someday — who was the same. He was not flying his freak flag; he was sending up a flare, hoping for rescue, for company in the solitude of his passion." and aren't we all looking for our family outside of the blood?)

anyway, with that out of the way, here's your advance warning to expect more out-of-town photos soon: i'm off to kingston in a week to spend october 7th through to the 12th at both my mother's island house and my father's house in the country. it's canadian thanksgiving up here on sunday october 9th, which also happens to be my birthday(!), and then two days later it's my dad's 75th birthday. all in all, many pleasant reasons for me to take a quick leave and get the train back to my hometown for an extended weekend. (even better: my boyfriend is coming for two days on the weekend to spend my birthday with me)

what that really means for me is that i have a week to put in as much work time as possible, get all my shit together, and make it to the train station on time on friday to head home. it always feels like a scramble, even when it's not. i really never feel relaxed until i'm actually seated on the train and it's pulling away from the station.

also, i'm going to try and make this year's birthday better than last year. last year, i was inconsolable, depressed, and sobbing at the drop of a hat. sure, i can blame some of it on badly-timed pms, but i hated feeling so miserable at what was supposed to be a nice occasion. i am hellbound and determined to be in a happier, more grateful mood this year. full stop.

time to get back to work. moar coffee!!!!11

[ music | phoenix, "1901" ]