Saturday, June 25, 2016


sorry but holy shit do i ever love these sunglasses:

i saw them for $20 and i absolutely had to have them. as i said on my tumblr, when i was younger, it was all about having the biggest headphones of anyone; now, i require the biggest sunglasses. what can i say, i'm really getting into the "statement accessories" in my old age. (they also tie into my fanatical need to keep the skin around my eyes protected from stupid ageing uv rays)

anyway, apologies for the last week or so of silence -- i've been uhhhhhh busy? things have more or less gone from normal speed to super turbo mach 5 in a matter of days, and the majority of things keeping me busy has been confidential work stuff, so i'm not suuuuuper into discussing all of it here. but! i will say that i'm getting lots of opportunities right now, and i'm juggling a lot of assignments to keep all the balls in the air. fortunately, that's something i'm good at.

i am a businesswoman! lolzzzzz how did this happen

i'm still sort of in the adaption/transition mode for a lot of stuff i'm doing -- you know, that nebulous, awkward first few weeks where you're terrified you're just gonna fuck everything up, but after you get past that hump and get some practice in and find out that nothing is going to explode, it's fine. just take it one day at a time, strap into the rollercoaster and go along for the ride, dude. it's so much better than doing nothing.


but: it was my import boy's birthday yesterday! he's getting to the point where he's grumbly when he mentions his age (we're the same age, so i can relate), but i've always considered it my duty as a good girlfriend to give my partner a happy day of birth, even if they'd rather pretend ageing isn't happening. he has a freakishly young-looking face anyway, so i don't know what he's worried about, really.

lumberjack cutie pie who is mine.

we did a couple of the same things that we did last year - namely, claiming his free birthday drink at starbucks, and getting wings for dinner at duff's (bbq wings are legit his absolute favourite food in the world, i think) - but i also made him a mini-birthday pie (pecan, his favourite):

(this is last year's birthday pie since i didn't get as good a shot of this year's)

...and brought over a modest selection of gifts, including a copy of mirror's edge: catalyst (the newest entry into one of his favourite video game series), a new bottle of his favourite cologne, and this fun hat:

i figured it was highly appropriate given how much sean is in love with toronto, and how, like me, he's not from here but he considers toronto to be his real home. (i almost got him that hat before he left for his first trip back to england in two years, but i didn't want him to anger the locals.) and before you ask, no, he's not at all happy with the brexit vote to leave. but he's happy as hell to be a permanent resident of canada and plans on applying for his citizenship as soon as it's possible, so that's that.

lastly for today: the end of penny dreadful, by far one of my favourite tv shows in years.

i'm going to cry again.

it was an appropriate ending, yes, and it was the way it should have ended, but it was a sad ending. sean had the misfortune of arriving home a few minutes after i finished watching the finale, and although i tried to laugh off my tears, i ended up sobbing -- and i almost never cry at tv and movies. but there was something more to my sadness about it ending, i think -- not just because it was a surprise, although it's true that they didn't announce beforehand that the season 3 finale was actually the series finale, but maybe because they left a lot of things undone (it wasn't an entirely satisfying finale for all the characters' storylines) and so much still felt unfinished. but also the big tragedy, obviously. it's been a long time since i've watched any tv show or movie that's actually made me hurt inside.

i think, as i get older - like, out of my twenties and into my thirties - i'm starting to realize more of a concept of finality. as in, that deep-seated feeling when you know something's over for good, and won't ever be that way ever again. it's especially melancholy when it's sudden, and you don't have time to get used to the loss. i've mentioned before that i've been fortunate enough to not have experienced anyone close to me dying yet, and so that definitely colours a lot of this, but that feeling of "oh, it's all over" seems to sink in harder than ever.

and sure, it may be silly pop-culture things, but for a lot of us those things are nice distractions, ways to connect with other people, and something we can rely on every sunday night. they become a part of our routine, and background noise for whatever else we're going through at those points in our lives. i still remember all those years i watched true blood, and even though it wasn't a great show by the end, there was something oddly comforting about how, even though my life changed a lot across the progress of the show, the show was still there. you know what i mean? life's pretty turbulent, and we all need some things to cling to, to remind us that the world goes on. and when those things end too, it hurts right down to the bones, because you've lost one more little thing that marked a few years of your life.

or maybe i'm just thinking too much into this. could be.

time to hit the gym.

[ music | interpol, "everything is wrong" ]