Wednesday, March 23, 2016

the things that i believe

the lollapalooza lineup, you guys!

yeah, so maybe i'll take any reason for a chicago weekend in the summer. but really, i'm mostly interested in the thursday and friday lineups, with the exception of grimes and st. lucia on saturday and halsey, bloc party, and silversun pickups on sunday. (hilarious that third eye blind is totally making a comeback) yet it's still a pretty expensive prospect for me, who's basically living hand to mouth and also at the grace of her generous and slightly frustrated parents. 2-3 nights at the hostel and the cost of two days of lolla tickets would be...a lot. especially if i don't feel like i need to see any of the bands, although many of them would be nice. (i've only been to one lolla before - lollapalooza 2006 - and honestly, i only really went because kill hannah was in the lineup that year)

but like, who knows? i wish i had more options and honestly, it feels like i should (i'm not exactly tied to a desk or the 9-to-5 grind right now, after all), but budgeting will be the death of me, and i can't take a chance on things like i used to. not when i don't have any fallback plans.

still, this highlights how i feel really out of the loop as far as music is concerned. i almost never go out to concerts anymore (no money), i rarely stream music on my laptop (no data to spare and my external speakers have been long busted), and i don't have any festival plans this year (yet). sure, i'm always plugged into my ipod when i'm out walking or at the gym, but it's not like i'm really listening to anything new. i just feel pretty disconnected in the scene, and the more i think about it the more it sucks. i used to devote so much of my spare time to the music industry - everything from going to gigs to street-team efforts to music journalism to blogging music news to simply putting on indie 103.1 all the time - and now it's such a lessened part of my life. i used to do so much for so little payoff and yet i loved every minute of it.

i don't know, it's been on my mind lately, i guess. spring is another one of those weird evocative seasons for me; it brings back a lot of memories, many of them built around that fundamental feeling of a new beginning, or a restart at the very least. back in the day, springtime signalled the end of another year of university (at u of t, classes typically wind down in april with exams being finished by may) and the beginning of a few months without school. every time i've gone out on tour with a band, it's been in the spring. i was getting ready to say goodbye to vancouver in march/april of 2008. it's definitely a season of renewal for me, or at least the notion that something better is about to begin.

these days, though? man, i don't know. it bothers me, and a lot of it comes back to the vital question: as you get older, how much of your past self do you hang on to, and how much do you accept is just done? how do you know when to cling and when to move on? because i feel like i don't have a lot left now that i'm interested in the way i used to be. do i try to resuscitate past interests or do i accept that i won't ever be into them like i once was?

ugh. stop, me.

ten things i am interested in lately:

1. wrestlemania and nxt takeover: dallas the first weekend of april
2. the very british things twitter account
3. cuddling all the neighbourhood cats
4. considering taking up ddp yoga
5. thai curries
6. dissecting the second season of daredevil with others
7. counting down the days til captain america: civil war
8. laughing at the flop that is batman v. superman
9. browsing cats up for adoption
10. pouring baileys into coffee

lastly, here are two pics of me with my buddy, the neighbourhood floof (i love her so much):





my hair is gross. later.

[ music | au revoir simone, "crazy" ]

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