Friday, February 19, 2016

let it ride

now that january 2016 is over, 31 days is also over! i hope you enjoyed learning stuff about me that you probably didn't care about in the first place, but oh well. sometimes it's good for me to just do regular writing exercises, even if it does sort of burn me out after and then i don't feel like blogging anything for weeks (to be fair, work has been busy and life has been boring).

anyway, surprise! i'm in kingston.

posting this pic from october again because i'm proud of it and it only got like 7 likes on instagram.

ever since i missed another christmas at home with the family, my parents have sounded like they've been missing me, so i decided to take an entire week(!) to be at home on the island, or out with my dad, or whatever. because it's true, i do miss my family every now and then, and given that i've also been suffering cabin fever from constantly being in the same place all the time (i mean, i love my apartment, but when it's both your homespace and your workspace it can get to be a little much), i figured i might as well take advantage of the fact that i have access to a second "home" only a couple hours away.

so why a week? after all, i've never gone home for that long before (except maybe on holiday vacation in my first year of university, when i didn't have a job). i only ever go home for a few days at a time, which never feels long enough once i'm there, and especially now that i have to factor in commutes to and from the island. true, it doesn't change the fact that kingston is boring as balls and i typically spend my days just wandering around the house or reading, but i figured it might be an interesting experiment to see if i could just unplug from big-city life for that long, you know?

also, the big factor: i'm a freelancer right now, and these are the things you can do when you're a freelancer. i am my own boss; i make my own hours. i definitely take advantage of this flexibility -- although sometimes it means working on weekends or into the late hours, i don't mind it at all because it's my choice to do it, you know? but i digress -- being a freelancer means that you totally have the option to work from anywhere, and i haven't taken advantage of that yet. i don't want to be freelancing forever, really, so i figured i might as well do this now while i still can. (the only time i was ever able to do this while gainfully employed was back in 2010, when the agency i worked for at the time allowed me to work from kingston for a week because the g20 was happening right next door to our downtown office. not all of us felt totally safe being at work, let's say.)

honestly, for me there is nothing so intimidating and awkward as asking your boss if you can 1) have time off or 2) work somewhere other than the office, because generally they get suspicious and huffy and are likely to turn you down and then you feel bad about asking. personally, i think a lot of us would do better if we could choose our workplaces, and if bosses would have faith that we would get our work done away from a cubicle, but i don't know just me etc etc. (i'm not gonna dig myself into a grave, here.) so right now, it's nice that i don't have to ask permission to do this sort of thing. but at some point, i'm gonna have to go back to that, and then depending on if it's contract work or not, i might not even have "vacation" time again for a while. which means it's best for me to get in the fam time now, while i still can.

sure, it's a bit disorienting to be removed from my everyday stuff and routines (i like my coffeemaker and my face masks and my mornings in the gym), but sometimes you need to get away for a bit in order to start appreciating them again. it's also nice to be able to lodge somewhere for free, have good dinners and drink lots of wine, and just touch base with my family. a couple weeks ago, my mother called me just to check in, and mentioned that they'd had "the whole family" out to the island for dinner that night. and it's those conversations that make me realize, oh yeah, i'm the only one who doesn't live in kingston. (the entirety of both my extended families live in kingston and the surrounding area, with the exception of my stepbrother on my dad's side, who lives with his family in vancouver.) when there are family get-togethers, my spot at the table is empty. it's easy for me to get caught up in my adult big-city life here in toronto, so i don't feel left out per se, but sometimes it's weird to think that i essentially have "a life" far away from my current one. or at least, the remnants of a past life.

anyway, i got here on wednesday evening and i'm here til next tuesday morning, so maybe expect a few more blog posts and stuff out of me while i'm here (i already finished all my books to read, and my netflix list is pretty bare -- as always, i welcome suggestions).

also, here is me in a fun hat. good day to you.

[ music | kill hannah, "last night here" ]