Sunday, May 17, 2015

she sells sanctuary

got on the train and headed back to the homeland for mother's day weekend.

i mentioned in this blog post here that i'd be spending mother's day weekend in kingston, and so i did. and sure, i'm a little late in the update, but i've got some time on this long weekend, so here we are. (yes, i went out of town the weekend before the holiday weekend. i prefer to spend long weekends in city, since it more or less empties out, though i also have to ignore the steady stream of cottage/camping/vacation pics that pop up in my social media feeds) i was in k-town from thursday to monday night, my first visit since christmas - and probably my last until thanksgiving - and it was a relaxing time full of long naps, family dinners and walks downtown in the sun. always nice to be in a place where you're constantly being asked "would you like some cheese?" and "would you like a glass of wine?" i could live off of wine and cheese & crackers, honestly.

as a mother's day favour (i got her a gift and a card too, obviously), i helped my mom clear out a portion of the back gardens:

trust me, there are many more gardens where that came from. in another life, my mother would be a landscaper. (i grew up on eight acres of farmland, and i'm fairly sure my mom converted four of those acres into sprawling gardens. sadly, my father visited our old home somewhat recently and noted that those incredible gardens had pretty much fallen to ruin -- not unexpected given that they took a shit ton of work to maintain, but still, major bummer)

the pool wasn't quite ready for swimming. at least they fished out the dead animals.

downtown k-town. i was treated to lunch for my help tearing up the back gardens, and then went for a walk by the docks. kingston's very pretty in the spring/summer, so it gets busloads of tourists all day long; it's also relatively cheaper than toronto or ottawa to visit, not to mention live in. (i idly glanced at the apartment rentals in the throwaway city newspaper, and almost choked on my coffee to see 2-bedroom apartments renting at $700-800)

another good thing about being home for the weekend, aside from being able to pick up some things i needed (a couple of old books, my childhood stuffed animal, a bottle of vanilla extract from costco, money from my parents): i got to raid the family photo albums for #tbt material. and man, was there ever a lot to go through. (aside from gardening, my mother's other passion was taking photos of her children.) time for the narcissism!

my class photo when i was five years old. yes, my mother coordinated my hair ribbons and barrettes with my dress. yes, i have half a front tooth (it was just coming in). the gigantic gap that's forming between them will later be closed with two and half years of dental braces. the crazy long hair, however, stayed for far too many years.

weird mostly because of the lack of tattoos on my arms. i'm not at all used to seeing that now. also ugh, mental reminder to never have bangs again.

bar none my favourite halloween costume ever: psylocke from the x-men. marvel vs. capcom was my #1 video game at the time (this was october 1997; i had just turned 14, and this would be my last time trick-or-treating), so i wanted to dress up like my #1 character. my mother insisted on giving sleeves to the bodysuit so i wouldn't get cold; i ended up getting frostbite on my legs. (ontario halloweens are generally freezing, and snow is a common occurrence) i guess you could call this my first cosplay, maybe? also this was the first time i ever wore makeup. wow.

fuck knows. i think i was maybe 15 here? notable mostly to remind myself to 1) again, never do bangs and 2) keep up with the teeth whiteners. also it's kind of good that i more or less grew into my nose.

you know what sucks? puberty weight gain! i was a li'l chubbo around the belly. decent job on the hair, though. (i have the blonde streaks i got done for my rinoa cosplay in summer 2000, so i must be 16 here) my stepsister's on the left and my older sister's on the right.

there were more, but i'll spare you. i think i lost a number of twitter/tumblr/instagram followers this past weekend for the sheer amount of content i was pumping out. whatever, fuck it.

a couple observations:

1) i am not as social or conversational as i should be. i suppose i can blame this on spending a lot of time by myself lately; i feel like i've become more introverted, so i need some time to charge my social batteries. and when i'm in kingston, i'm around people literally all the time, and so there's no time to step back and isolate myself for a while. also, it's more or less expected of me to be social and conversational -- not that that's a bad thing, but it can be tough for me, especially if i feel like i'm being forced to be. hence, crankiness. at least i could count on my boyfriend to cheer me up with constant text messages of love and mushiness. (he also bought me a new hat!)

2) i go through this weird thing every goddamn time i'm in kingston, and i swear i've blogged about it before, but -- whenever i'm in k-town, a very tiny part of my brain wonders what it would be like to pack it in and move back home. not with my parents, obviously, but get some cheap apartment somewhere and find a job and just live quietly. life is slower and smaller there, and that dumb part of me wonders if that's what i need. maybe i need a fresh start somewhere, and why not go back to my roots? my family are all there, and it's not unfamiliar ground for me, so maybe i could be happy with it.

...but yeah, then i really think about it, and i know exactly what would happen: i would settle in and be content for like, a week, and then i would start clawing up the walls from boredom. sure, i don't do a whole lot in toronto, but at least the potential for doing things is out there. and i'm sure there's a scene in kingston that i don't see, but i'm past the point in my life where i have the energy and drive to establish myself in a new city. i went through that with vancouver and we all know how that ended (ie. very quickly).

i suppose it's good i headed back to toronto when i did. i was missing the city.

a week later, i'm back settled into my daily routines, cursing at the late spring heatwave and getting stoked to see the boy a bunch this week. off i go!

[ music | broken bells, "control" ]