Tuesday, November 30, 2010

push push struggle

things i am enjoying right now - a list.

1. florence + the machine
2. coffee every morning (always the flavoured kind - grotesque but true)
3. the knowledge that the iron supplements i'm taking might just cure my arrhythmia/fatigue/horrifically easy bruising/etc
4. the fact that my christmas holidays (two weeks, bitches!) are only three weeks away
5. much-needed haircut happening on thursday
6. getting packages in the mail (sure, most of them are christmas presents i ordered online, but i've been a dope and have ordered myself both a party dress and a necklace in recent weeks)

okay, i needed to get some space blocked there before i gross you out with the goofiness from the last few days:

a horrifying action shot, to be sure, but this was my turducken dinner at southern accent last thursday night for american thanksgiving. it was an...experience, to say the least. i'm proud i can cross it off my bucket list, but it wasn't the #1 most delicious thing i've ever eaten. dean summed it up well when he said that "there were too many tastes" going on with it; it was a little overwhelming. but i guess that's what you're signing up for when you order a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey, each with its own layer of stuffing. wow.

here is the boy displaying his meal with his patented "fuuuuuck yeahhhh" face

it was also basically hilarious how 99% of the people in the restaurant that night were all ordering turducken. (they only serve it on that one day annually.)

next up for our unstoppable duo: possibly double-date brunch with friends next sunday, possibly killing joke concert next tuesday. what can i say, our new environment/neighbourhood + the fact that the boy's in and out these days (he's doing a lot of work post-tour) is really putting me in the let's-go-out-and-do-fun-stuff-together! mode. the little absences make me appreciate his presence that much more, really.

but yeah, the more i think about it, the more i think that what i just said was truth: the change in our environment has really perked things up. we're not stuck on the west side of town living in a moldy basement in a stressful noisy shared house. i honestly don't think our current digs are any bigger than our old ones, but the 23rd-floor view from the giant picture windows - plus the fact that it's a dead silent building, not to mention that it's, well, an actual apartment and not somebody's house - seem to make all the difference.

the change in neighbourhood, as well, has probably been a help. it's quite something to go from parkdale to yorkville, and though i'm sure the boy mourns for the west side (he's a parkdalian at heart), i'm more than happy being back downtown. the neighbourhood definitely isn't cheap, for sure, but it's something like a breath of fresh air -- especially for this girl, who's been mostly confined to either the east or west fringes of town for the last few years. it's still sort of a trip for me to be able to see my very first toronto apartment from the balcony of my current one.

so yes! very soul-cleansing and all that. i can't speak for the boy but i think he feels it, too. i can at least say for sure that when it comes time for us to move on to our next place, we're going to have been utterly spoiled. sigh.

other things:

it's raining a lot in toronto. the leafs are back to sucking, thus i'm back to drinking a whole lot more. i'm attending the one of a kind christmas show solo on the weekend, because as i said on twitter, i think the boy would rather be waterboarded then go to a christmas craft show with me. (ditto for attending a three-hour performance of handel's messiah, but i'm going to ask him anyway because i've always wanted to see the messiah performed at christmastime.) new work computer + windows 7 at work = a much happier workday for me. getting stoked for putting together christmas goodies for presents this year (so far, the plan consists of olive oil granola and chocolate peanut butter fudge for the boy's family, skillet toffee to send to my uncle in montreal, and bailey's chocolate truffles for random family members). new music/previously-unheard old music is good this time of year, particularly if it's mopey or depressing or anthemic.

lastly, i am in love with this neckless cat:

that's all for now.

[ music | killing joke, "eighties" ]

Saturday, November 27, 2010

the power and the penance

so after the last two posts here - one about a fancy event with free booze, and one in my ongoing series to conquer 24 coffee shops in this city - i've been doing some thinking about just what my blog intentions are.

like i've stated before: i've been blogging since 2000. you'll have to trust me on this, since i deleted my blogs from 2000-2004 out of fear of a shit-ton of retrospective embarrassment. (no, really -- they were that bad.) but 2005 through to 2007 still exists, and this blog runs from 2007 to present day, so it's safe to say that i've been doing this for a while -- long enough to have seen the way the blogging landscape has changed. i can still remember how surprised i was at the headhunter agency's bemusement as to why i hadn't included my blogging pursuits on my resume. "because it's...just sort of my diary?" had been an awkward answer.

apparently, at this stage of the game, i can be considered an online influencer. which i don't entirely subscribe to, but whatever.

sometimes i feel like i'd do better traffic-wise if my blog had a theme - it's been suggested more than once that i start a hockey blog, but i doubt i'd be able to sustain it, plus there's so many good ones already - or if i flogged my new posts all over facebook, but i can't bring myself to openly advertise all my thoughts and life commentary to my facebook feed (which is only made up of good real-life friends, many of whom would be able to see right through any obliqueness in this blog or my last). and so i just stay in my little bubble with my crowd of regular readers

that said, i've never set out to blog with any of the following points of intent:

1) to make money (via sponsors, ads, etc. -- i ran some google ads for about a month once to see how viable the clickthroughs were, and they were pathetic, so away they went);
2) to get sponsorships or free stuff;
3) to get invitations to fancy exclusive parties;
4) to make myself into a social media brand or figurehead.

full disclosure: this isn't to say i'm not open to such things; i'll promote stuff if i like it, i'll flog a band if i enjoy them, i'll go to your event if you invite me, and so on. but i don't put myself out there as someone who necessarily wants to turn her personal blog into a money-making machine, and i feel okay with that.

see, to me, blogging has always been something i do for myself and myself alone. if you find it entertaining and want to come along for the ride, then sure. that's why this blog is public. it's a continual mystery to me why i have as many readers as i do, actually; i never feel like my life is really that noteworthy. like i said, i write for myself, to get things out on paper (in kilobytes?) to give myself perspective, and so i guess there's an added bonus of other people being able to give me their perspective as well. which i've always enjoyed. unless you're a creeper. then no.

but for those of you just coming into this, my life used to be a whole lot more blogworthy. it was, as some of my friends put it, "like a movie" - which was more or less the tagline of my old blog which, although light on details, stands mostly as a chronicle of nights with rock stars and days on the road and dreams of something better than my life at that time - and now, well, not so much. but i've beaten that topic to death in this blog already, and every time i conclude by saying that i can't make any apologies for it. my life is good right now, and i'm enjoying the fact that it's good and i'm happy. full stop.

so then, here's the thing: no matter what, i just like to write.

really, that's all it is - i just like to write. i am a writer, born and raised; it's still my best method for expressing myself and my feelings. and while i'm confident it's not a skill i'd lose if i went without writing for a long period of time, i don't even think i'd make it. and so i guess at the very root of things, that's why i blog: because i'm a writer. because this is what i do. because this is, basically, how i survive in this world.

and, for what it's worth, i'm very happy to have you along for the ride with me. there may be ego and there may be sweeping generalizations - i know i'm prone to both - but i promise: no ads, no false personas, no bullshit and lies.

i've never stopped thinking of this place as "just sort of my diary", after all.

[ music | the national, "terrible love" ]

Thursday, November 25, 2010

the macallan scotch tasting

(with photos by my lovely blogebrity photographer, christine estima!)

so, i don't get invited to many blogger outreach/online influencer events. (i know, i know - cue the sad "nobody loves me" violins)

they're all over the city these days, and i have a few power-blogger friends who have their social calendars full of these events, but i've never been in that loop, honestly. maybe it's because my blog is too niche (or not niche enough -- it's not like i have a gimmick); maybe it's because i don't advertise it all that much. maybe it's because i've never been entirely interested in developing my own personal brand. i mean, really, i've been blogging in some form or another for the last ten years (way back before the term weblog/blog existed, and they were called "online diaries"), and i still find it difficult to think of this place as anything more than a stupid brain dump where i blather about life things that nobody else really cares about. it was never a question of looking like a sellout -- more than i just didn't consider my blog a viable platform for trumpeting a brand or a product or being an enthusiast.

but then the macallan came calling, and they obviously knew who they were getting a hold of: a booze enthusiast! :D

true enough, i've been a hard liquor girl from the get-go. no easing into the world of alcohol with beer or wine for me -- my first love was vodka, and it remains so to this day. however, i do have a soft spot in my heart for classy liquor, and scotch whisky definitely falls into that category. it's one of those drinks i don't touch unless it's good liquor, but good scotch usually means expensive scotch, and so i don't get to indulge that often. insert sadface.

...yet here was the macallan inviting me to take part in an exclusive scotch tasting event on wednesday night. did i want to come? uh, yes. finally, perks to being a blogger!

and so, with good pal christine as my welcome +1 (my 100% scotch-enthusiast boyfriend was going to come, but he had to work and was greatly disappointed and envious), i attended my first blogger outreach event last night. and man, two things: one, the bar was set pretty high, and two, this is what i've been missing? goddamn. i gotta start being more popular.

my spread for the night - and also, what ended up being my dinner: fancy cheese, cured meats, bar nuts, grapes and whisky. meal of champions. major props for the gorgeous and likely expensive spread of my two favourite things right now: meat and cheese. i am so easily won over by a cheese plate. (also, the scotch in this pic is the one we received immediately upon entering the event - the macallan 10 year)

the pretty people schmoozing in the pretty main room at 99 sudbury. christine, being a bona-fide blog star, saw many acquaintances in the growing crowd of influencers, and i saw a great amount of hugging and handshakes taking place across the room. scotch: bringing people together. (also, bringing hot people together -- apparently scotch is the handsome man's drink of choice.)

speaking of awesome people, here's marc laverdiere, the official macallan enthusiast and all-around fount of whisky knowledge:

he took us through a fun little slideshow detailing the history and creation of the macallan's various aged whiskeys.

the explanation and demonstration of the correct way to taste scotch whisky - don't breathe through your noise, add only a couple drops of water to open up the flavour, let the mouthful sit on your tongue before swallowing - were especially helpful, given that the servers kept on bringing snifters of the macallan around. (my brain was happy; my liver was sort of terrified.)

these dudes were definitely down with the scotch good times.

here's me examining the "pale gold" colour tones of the macallan 10-year. i'm trying to look intellectual and cultured but i mostly look like a dick.

me drinking liquor: a much more familiar sight than me looking intellectual and cultured.

here's your intrepid photog for this post, the divine miss chris herself. although a teetotaler herself, she particularly enjoyed the music segueways that accompanied the slides that showed what else was happening the year a particular macallan scotch whisky was made (for example, the macallan 18 year was created in 1992, and 1992 was the inaugural year of the ottawa senators...the slide showed their logo and a number of people in the room booed, myself included).

chrissy gets down with the scotch on the rocks.

in the meantime, i was busy amassing a lovely collection of amber liquid:

one scotch...

two scotch...

three scotch...

four! (left to right, they were: sherry oak 12 year, fine oak 15 year, sherry oak cask strength, sherry oak 18 year. my favourite was the cask strength, mostly because it was 58% alcohol and, as the host put it, "this whisky's job is to cause you pain." is there something wrong with me for liking the painful alcohol the most?)

of course, it wouldn't be a party until somebody breaks something:


all in all, a very fun night put on by the macallan. the staff was especially gracious and very welcoming to everybody around, which is always a good feeling -- being treated like an honoured guest is definitely A+ in my book. also, it was a nice touch of class for a wednesday night, and at only an hour and half out of our evenings, it didn't require a huge commitment -- just a willingness to eat cheese and drink quality scotch whisky free of charge. (also, it goes without saying that if you're looking for a christmas present for the scotch lover on your list, then you know what to do. 58% alcohol. hell yes deliciousness.)

also also, if you take this quick survey about booze (and, well, the macallan obviously), matchstick will donate $2 to the canadian red cross! see, alcohol does solve problems. some of them, at least.

thanks for reading! the end.

[ music | crystal castles ft. robert smith, "not in love" ]

Sunday, November 21, 2010

indie coffee passport series - part 9

the indie coffee passport is a fun initiative invented to get torontonians out to try the city's independent coffee shops. from september 1st, 2010 to march 31, 2011, $20 gets you a little paper pass that lists off 24 participating coffee shops, and allows you to a free coffee up to $5.

i'm not affiliated with the good people behind this idea, but i figured it'd be a blast to get a passport and try to hit up all 24 cafes in the next seven months. (in the interest of fairness, i will get the same thing at every cafe -- a large drip coffee, with cream but no sugar.) i love coffee - it's been flowing through my veins since i was fifteen - and given that i've been a barista, cafe supervisor and cafe manager across toronto and vancouver over the years, i feel like i'm up to the highly-caffeinated task!

passport stop: moonbean coffee company

my recollection wants to say that this might have been the first indie cafe i ever visited in toronto. i clearly remember - and this was maybe 2002 - visiting moonbean with a friend, and being somewhat in awe of what a "real" coffee shop was like. (don't forget, i came from kingston, which in 2002 had only one second cup and maybe two starbucks) i mean, eight years ago, i was basically in awe of everything toronto had to offer, so this wasn't a huge stretch, but moonbean coffee was totally what i'd imagined an indie cafe to be: homey, rough around the edges, lots of out-of-the-ordinary selections.

i also ordered a hot chocolate, which came with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles. i think this might have blown my mind at the time. (i've been a caffeine addict since i was fifteen - and back then i used to drink my coffee black - but i also loved hot chocolate so much that i've only weaned myself off it in the last year or so)

but very little changes in kensington market over the years, and it seems like nothing has really changed at moonbean coffee either -- it's still packed to the gills on a sunday afternoon, still a little messy, still a cozy place to spend some time reading a book or catching up with a friend. that's sort of the appeal of the entirety of kensington market, really -- it's broken in and worn and slightly chaotic, but something in that feels like home. (i spend a ton of time in kensington market, yet i've never actually lived there; despite its boho existence, it's still too rich for my blood)

and so that's how things are at moonbean - even the name is vaguely hippie-like - sort of laid-back, yet with the usual bluster of a busy coffee shop at the same time. you'll be a bit overwhelmed when you first walk in, mostly due to the array of things to look at -- there's a huge signage board with all your choices, a wall of dozens of loose-leaf teas to choose from and wide displays of pastries and other fresh-baked goodies to go with your beverage of choice. while it's not the sort of place to linger while wearing an overstuffed backpack - the aisle is pretty narrow - the service was efficient on the day i was there, and even more convenient if you're just picking up a drip coffee, since you serve yourself in that case.

again, i had another nice barista who looked slightly puzzled that i only wanted to redeem for a coffee - "are you sure you don't want a latte or something?" -but i repeated that no, just a plain ol' cup of brew, and she handed me an empty cup and directed me towards the self-serve area of coffee carafes. i'm always a little leery when it's a case of serving yourself, because you can never be entirely sure how often the pots are changed, but since i'm on an indie coffee journey and not an indie tea journey (as i mentioned earlier, there was way more than an ample selection of teas to choose from), i set my eye on the vanilla nut blend. fortunately, the pot was changed right before i went for it, so i got a nice fresh cup.

now, here's a dirty little secret about me: i love flavoured coffee. yes, i know there's a ton of chemical processing involved to make a regular bean taste like french vanilla; it's the sort of thing i was constantly teased about when i was a "serious" barista. "serious" baristas - and serious coffee drinkers - drink coffee the way it was made, not when it's made to taste like hazelnut or irish cream. there's something wrong about that, i know, and there's something wrong with the fact that i'm addicted to it, but well. doesn't keep me up at night. (though it does keep a lot of my money flowing towards timothy's...i'm sorry.)

moonbean's vanilla nut wasn't as aggressively flavoured as the stuff i chug on a semi-daily basis -- it had more of a light aftertaste that contributed to the overall mild flavour of the brew. this was definitely coffee for people who don't really like coffee, since it was pretty innocuous and not strong at all. (you could argue that about a lot of flavoured coffee, actually, but i still like mine to pack a bit of a punch) still, some people might find this:

i guess in short, moonbean is a good place to go for things like tea (endless amounts!) and specialty drinks like hot chocolates with whipped cream and sprinkles, but as far as coffee goes, it's more of an afterthought. good place for people-watching though, and definitely to reconnect with your sense of how awesome this city is to have little homey neighbourhoods like kensington market.

Moonbean Coffee Company
30 Saint Andrew Street
Toronto, ON M5T 1K6
(416) 595-0327

Thursday, November 18, 2010

modern times

been a bit quiet around here, i know. the usual excuses are, of course, in play: too much going on in the real world (work, social life etc) yet nothing that would constitute an exciting blog post.

something to ponder: is the world of quick status updates on facebook and 140-character blurbs on twitter slowly killing blogging? it seems to me like 1) readers' attention spans are shorter, and 2) personal bloggers aren't as motivated because it takes some time and effort to write up a post. what do you think? feel free to drop a comment on this post and let me know.

now, before i disgrace myself any further, i will admit that yes, i did go to the leafs skills competition on sunday (or, as my father put it with a laugh, "what skills?"), and i actually enjoyed myself despite the team's lackluster record thus far. in fact, i'll even post a couple of photos as proof of good times:

limbering up before the competition

just chillin'

lying stomach-down on the ice = comfort zone

with the elvis-bust trophy!

doug and dean go for the footlongs

more photos are available for viewing at my tumblr. all in all, a lovely day spent with new/old friends. yes, my devotion to the toronto maple leafs continues, no matter how much of a rollercoaster they take their fans on every. damn. year. hapless leafs love is, unfortunately, the sort of thing you're born into, and with a father who hails from the toronto/niagara region, this is my lot in life. (as i'm quick to point out, my maternal side is from sherbrooke, which means i'm actually half-habs fan by birth. but obviously not in practice.)

extra bits here and there:

- i ended my constant browser-crashing pain at work and switched from firefox to chrome. it's been a little weird getting used to the new display, but whatever, it's not exploding in my face eight times in a row (followed by a frustrated computer reboot, which failed to prevent it from crashing three more times). whenever this sort of thing happens, i hear my stepfather's patient voice from the late 90's: "99 per cent of the time, it's the user's fault." which never failed to make me even more angry. ("the computer screwed up on its own! i swear!")

- back for another round of medical testing last tuesday, this time to check and make sure my ticker's okay. i'm aware that i'm hardly in the danger zone as far as heart disease is concerned - i exercise, i don't eat crap, i'm moderately thin, i'm only in my twenties, there's no heart problems in my family, etc. - but i've had some weird flutters every now and then for the last year, so i felt like i should just check up on that. both my doctor and the boy think that, if anything, it could be a mitral valve prolapse (the boy actually has it), which is very common and almost never a huge problem, so okay. we'll see what the ultrasound reveals. (on the plus side, i got to hear audio of my heart beating. it sounded squishy.)

- bonus rounds of awesomeness next week: a scotch tasting (thanks the macallan!) that i'll be attending/blogging about next wednesday, followed by turducken at southern accent to celebrate american thanksgiving next thursday. three kinds of meat with three kinds of stuffing plus bourbon gravy, brussels sprouts and mashed potatoes? i think i might die, but i'll die happy.

- on the giving-back end of all that gastronomic happiness, i'll be volunteering for the food sort at the daily bread food bank next monday. i volunteered for this last january, and found it was actually a hell of a lot of fun. plus: good karma and warm fuzzies. this time around, i'll be doing it with a team of colleagues from my workplace, but that should make it even more entertaining.

- had a debate the other night over whether or not bauhaus is superior to the combination of love and rockets + solo peter murphy. i fervently argued for the respective separate bands and how i'd rather see a love and rockets concert right now. this is what happens when an old punk rocker and a post-goth live together. speaking of...

- i love this man. that is all.

yeah, after that, i got nothin'. happy thursday-night-almost-friday.

[ music | killing joke, "eighties" ]

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

my fair city

today, i wanted to blog about my intense love affair with this city.

[image via toronto pictures]

the realization of it sort of snuck up on me overnight. i think a lot of it was really brought to light by my brief exodus back in 2007; at that time, i was utterly convinced that toronto was no good for me - that i needed to get away and escape the memories and the ghosts. i wouldn't be coming back, i resolved firmly. i'd stay away from toronto for at least 3-5 years, just to cleanse myself of my demons and my darker days. it would be good for me to start again in a new place.

but, of course, it was only after i left that i realized just how much toronto is a part of me, and how i could never really leave it for long.

excepting those errant seven months in vancouver, i've been living in toronto for just over eight years now. it's at the point now where i can notably see where and how the city has changed (this goes doubly so for someone like my boyfriend, who's been living in mississauga and toronto for the last 30-odd years), and though this makes me sad and nostalgic, it also really makes me realize just how long i've been here, and how entrenched i am in this city.

a lot of people mistake me as being a native torontonian; i rarely correct them. truthfully, i was born and partially raised in kingston, ontario, a midsize town halfway between toronto and montreal that's notable mostly for the fact that it has five jails. going back even further, i spent the majority of my childhood in a country village with a population of 49 people; there, toronto was a place you watched on tv (notably for the santa claus parade every november). it wasn't a place you visited, and it certainly wasn't a place you lived. it was The Big City. it existed elsewhere, in some other universe outside of farmland and country. i guess that added to the exotic urban appeal of it to me when i was a teenager and figuring out where to go with my life. go big or go home.

and, ironically enough, eight years later, there's nowhere i've felt more at home than this city.

[image via fuck yeah street lights]

i think i've walked nearly all of the city's downtown, east side and west side streets at least two or three times each -- sometimes many more. i've counted on my ipod and my own two feet to walk myself through some of my happiest moments and my darkest times, and those are all i can think about when i hit the streets. (i do a phenomenal amount of walking, mostly because i love it so much and because it's great exercise, but also because i hate our public transit system that much.)

especially now that i have an apartment that looks out over the city - and especially given that the weather's been fantastic for the last week or so - i get a real sense of knowing where i belong, and truly appreciating the fact that i actually live here. i really and truly made it to the city that used to just exist in a tv world to me, once upon a time. and this thought is enough to still give me momentary pause in admiration and appreciation as i walk around toronto. sometimes i just can't even conceive the fact that this city is mine, and that i so wholly belong here.

yet what i've come to realize is that one's love for the city doesn't have so much to do with the weather, the geopolitics, the culture, or any of that - it's the memories. it's what's etched in your mind as you walk the streets and view your surroundings. if anything, vancouver taught me that; in my mind, vancouver to me is entirely made up of memories and nostalgia. i have no doubt that toronto would be the same to me, were i ever to leave for good (though that obviously isn't happening any time soon). and i have so much of myself invested into this city that it would be like removing a limb, or a life source. this city is my goddamn life source. it makes me who i am.

dear toronto: you make me happy. that is all.

[ music | love and rockets, "so alive" ]

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

back to the grind

first off -- three more photosets up at my tumblr, for your viewing pleasure and perusal:

october 29 @ call the office, part 1 - biblical & darlings of chelsea

october 29 @ call the office, part 2 - c'mon

halloween at the bovine sex club

if you haven't been acquainted with my tumblr yet, feel free to go check it out -- it's kind of a brain dump where i toss/reblog photos (mostly of cats), post random snippets of writing/poetry/song lyrics, add cool links when i find them, and so on. it's more or less my blog for the attention-span deprived (myself included). also, you can ask me anything under the guise of anonymity, so have fun with that.

so anyway, here we are, back to the normal life. i had a solid week and a half off work for vacation, and now i return to the regular 9-to-5 office schedule (while, of course, looking forward to christmas vacation -- come onnnnn, december!), interspersed with gym/spin classes, leafs games to watch, and hangouts with friends + the recently returned-from-tour boyfriend. it's not a bad life on a whole, but man, i could really do with a year's worth of paid vacation. i'm just inherently lazy like that.

but if you missed the slew of blog posts/tumblr posts/twitter posts, yes, my "vacation" (although it was a partially-working one) to new york city went entirely well. given that it was basically my first real time in nyc, i spent much of my time walking all over the city, staring up at tall buildings, hitting up every single trader joe's i saw, and just generally being an urban nerd. it doesn't take the place of chicago in my heart (♥), but it made for a nice break from home -- although it totally served to just make me realize how much i honest-to-god love toronto and canada in general.

and on a whole, hostel living wasn't so bad -- definitely not as scary as i expected. sure, there was the inconvenience of the location (as i mentioned before, upper west side = harlem) and no hot water for the showers on friday and monday, plus the general awkwardness of sharing a room with five other strangers...but hey, $200 for four nights in nyc? done. especially after i realized the joy and genius of using earplugs -- sweet, sweet bubble of silence.

still, i don't think i could ever live in new york city. it's just too much for me. its sheer size, the massive number of people everywhere...the overwhelming sense of it all just made me ill at ease. it's a beautiful old city, of course, but i feel like i wouldn't adapt to it and/or fall in love with it like i did toronto. nonetheless, i continue my illicit love affair with america and all weird, wacky things that exist in the united states but not canada. (mostly america-only food items. hence the trader joe's obsession.)

also, a big fuck you very much to whoever on the bus ride home infected me with their doom plague. i've been getting my ass kicked by a cold since friday, and no amount of echinacea tea can save me now.

but yeah, a big thanks to all of you for making it through the heavier entries i've been writing as of late. (though judging by some reactions, i'd be better off returning to that style of writing on a regular basis, but man, it sometimes gets me down.) it's just that time of year when i'm really starting to feel the weight of my years - yes, all 27 of them - and that can be a hard thing to deal with. the best thing i can do to cope is to write it out, which is the tact i've taken to ennui and angst since i was a teenager. more or less what drove me to blog in the first place, all those years ago. (bloggin' since 2000, bitches.) yet life moves on, as it always does, and more and more i'm thankful i've kept documentation of my life for the past ten years -- and that i'm still doing it. i like to learn in retrospective.

anyway, in closing, here's jenna and i on halloween. i'm smiley. (probably at the continuing "life is weird" fact that she and i have been good friends for five years, and now our boyfriends are friends independent of us. this means double-date time!)

[ music | editors, "papillon" ]