Thursday, April 22, 2010

float on

note to self: more photos need to be taken. walls of text do not suit blog readers - i know this now - but it's pretty hard to get out and take pics of things when you're working the 9 to 5 in an office all day. (sure, i could take pictures of the office, but for one that'd be boring and for two i'm sure that breaches some workplace policies) i'm gonna try and get some shots in orlando while i'm there next week, but they'll have to be during the off-work time, and i don't know how well the palm trees are illuminated at night there. but we'll see.

on the checklist for america-only products: frosted animal crackers (never had but recommended highly by a coworker), honey nut chex mix (which i more or less subsisted on during the band tour in '07), and a pack of parliament lights (see previous bracketed comment). i know, i know, i quit with the smoking, but i figure this will be the one pack i smoke all year, and so that will be a fair tradeoff. (am i allowed to smoke in buildings in florida? you could still do it in iowa in 2007.)

without further ado: the only news fit for print. er, kilobyte.

insanely impressive lineup at this year's ottawa bluesfest. nomenclature needs to be changed, stat -- doesn't look like there's a helluva lot there for actual blues fans. but oooooh, iron maiden!

lady gaga takes over japan, unsurprisingly. is there any other country on this planet that could possibly be better suited to lady gaga? i think not. (related side note: my father just got back from a trip to japan a couple weeks ago and couldn't get over what "some of those young people wear." also related side note: i am insanely jealous of my father for getting to even go to japan, and i keep cursing the fact that i didn't have enough money to go when i lived in vancouver and flights to osaka were cheap because of the close proximity.)

via the always-classy oh no they didn't!: japan has its very own version of zombie strippers. hilariously, i actually sort of enjoyed zombie strippers. it was great fun to watch with tongue firmly in cheek and liquor bottle firmly in hand.

oh yeah, and one more courtesy ontd! (loves it): interpol's existence is a musical event that shook the world. damn straight it is.

next up: saving my extra pennies for a new laptop, to be purchased possibly next month. won't be too much different from my current lappy (sorry apple faithful, i am a dell girl through and through -- laugh and mock all you want but i love my inspiron 15), which has served me well for the last three years, but, well...it's been three years, and a lot of my current system is seriously out of date. and i think the battery's crapping out. plus i think with my budget now, i can afford a few improved specs. we'll see how it goes.

oh yeah, and as a tmi-esque aside...been off the pill since january 23rd and still no red flag. according to both a doctor's blood test and an otc kit (yes, i got both to be doubly sure), i'm definitely not preggo, but obviously in a state of post-pill amennorhea. my doctor said it wasn't life-threatening or anything and that they'll probably return on their own in time - it can be anywhere from three to six months - but i'm sort of weirded out by the whole thing, so i've started taking vitex three times a day in hopes that it might speed things along.

yet it's funny how i've railed against my biological function for so long, but without it, i feel...halved, sort of. like i'm not quite a woman without it, as cheesy and weird as that sounds. i'm not in the baby-making market at all, but it feels like i'm missing a phantom limb or something. i dunno, you try it sometime and see how off it makes you feel. blech.

alright, noms time (aka dinner). later.

[ music | pens vs sens, 3 minutes left in the 1st ]

Monday, April 19, 2010

my kingdom come

whew! hi.

thanks for the good feedback on the last entry, by the way -- it's good to know that i'm definitely not alone in my ennui. really, the whole thing just makes me think of the famous lines from the dylan thomas poem: "do not go gentle into that good night / rage, rage against the dying of the light." i mean, do you put your head down, acknowledge that you're getting older, and keep moving forward through the present/into the inevitable future? or do you kick and scream and refuse to budge from the past? i have friends who've gone down both paths, and i don't know if either could be said to be happier than the other. it's all relative, i suppose.



old pic from the vaults. better times. (even with the cigarette and the ill-advised streaks in my hair, and the black nail polish and the bondage coat...oh hell, everything really)

also, i know i don't have any regular readers in florida (according to my stats counter, anyway), but: i'm going to be in orlando next week (late monday til late thursday) for a work conference. i'm staying at the hilton walt disney world - no, for real - and am almost embarrassingly excited to pick up 1. various america-only snack foods and 2. cheap liquor at the duty-free shop. i am not excited at all for the fact that, to get from toronto to orlando and back, i will have to set foot on an airplane. i'm sure you all remember how huge a fan i am of flying -- and by huge, i mean airplanes terrify the living shit out of me (to the point where i seriously consider getting valium or xanex every time i have a flight coming up). oh well, it'll be an adventure - my first work trip! - so no complaints. also, i love america.

i do not love volcanic ash so i hope none of it decides to drift over the u.s. by next weekend. thanks.

so, every year, we wacky canadians have this thing called "the juno awards", which are like our grammys, but more canadian -- aka, more humble and subdued and generally a crappy low-budget version of the american original (see: canadian idol). here are your winners this year, announced last night. even if i were still doing music journalist 24/7, i'd find it hard to care. (though i do enjoy the dapperness of one mr. michael buble. and hey, red carpet arrivals from ontd!)

tony clement: bieberized! pretty much the funniest post-junos thing i've read all day. canadian politics aren't all boring...once and a while.

this was pretty fucked news to wake up to on sunday morning: you say party! we say die! drummer dies from onstage brain hemorrhage. dude was only four years older than me. just goes to show that things like brain aneurysms and hemorrhages can happen anytime, to anybody. so very sad. r.i.p.

on a cheerier note, mike turner talks crash karma vs. our lady peace. apparently there's no rivalry - can-rock bands are too nice for that these days, unless you have someone in your band whose name is m. good - but in my mind, crash karma wins because mike's in it. what a super awesome dude.

also from my journalistic benefactors (when i still have time to do music writin', anyway), iron maiden guitarist gets behind giant penis. this wins the internet.

the level of fail of this typo is surely not just facepalm-worthy by us copy editors alone. (got my business cards today so it is actually official -- copy editor cred, motherfuckers) i don't even know how you could miss that, unless it was intentional, and if so, that person sucks.

okay, more hockeytimes now, and eventually sleep.

[ music | canucks vs. kings on tv ]

Monday, April 12, 2010

quarterlife quandary

to expand upon the last point of the previous blog post, this is my favourite photo of myself:



i wish to god i could make this my profile pic for facebook or twitter or this blog or whatever, but that wouldn't be accurate, because i actually don't look like this anymore. this was taken almost three years ago by my californian friend bre, at an awesome punk-rock thai fusion place called toi, just off the sunset strip in los angeles. but dear god, do i ever love this -- the short choppy black hair, the leather coat, the heavy eyeliner, the chipped black nail polish, the fetish dress (note the padlocked collar), the tongue piercing (even though you can't see it). and the fact that i can't go back to this look makes me unspeakably sad.

because here's the thing: that outward projection isn't me anymore. at that point in time - october 2007 - i was confused and embittered and lonely. and so i was more than ready to display that on the outside: i kept my hair cropped short and messy and dyed it black frequently, i wore a lot of leather and black clothing to look as unapproachable as possible, i wouldn't have removed my tongue stud if you paid me, and 99% of the time the expression on my face was either a faraway stare or a sideways glare. i'd just turned twenty-five and had run away to vancouver alone; i was working at a coffee shop - had still never worked a desk job in my life - and was definitely not ready to join the adult world.

every time i see this photo, i want to go back to this look, but i physically can't. i've moved on. to me, the short black hair and the smeared eyeliner are representative of a girl who was angry and sad and full of angst. that girl was still in the process of figuring herself out, and learning how to be happy with herself and her life. that girl was still selling herself short in a lot of areas. that's what this look says to me, and since i'm more or less past that now, i can't go back to it. (literally, i had a hair appointment scheduled for last week to chop it all off again, but i chickened out the morning of and had it pushed to next month to give me more time to decide)

i'm turning twenty-seven this october - three years til thirty - and right now, i have long hair that's back to its natural colour of dark brown. i barely wear any eyeliner, and i spend five days a week dressed business casual, because i prefer to look professional for work -- and yes, i finally do have that 9-to-5 desk job. my tattoos are mostly covered up, and i took my tongue stud out permanently two years ago because it was damaging my gums. and no matter how much i remember feeling infinitely more comfortable - more myself - in my alternagoth phase, i feel like if i were to go back to that now, i'd feel like a pathetic poseur. i'd feel too old for it.

i don't feel like a sell-out to the corporate world or anything, mostly because i never held any such punk beliefs (and seriously, i fucking love money), but i feel like there is some little part of me that looks back on pictures like the one i posted above - or any pictures from those years - and gets a bit disheartened that those days are pretty much over with -- and i know it.

see, that girl toured with bands, chain-smoked and drank like a fiend, wore pvc and fishnets on saturday nights out, slept with rock stars, slogged her way through joe jobs for a few bucks above minimum wage, and lived a life that friends often described as "being like a book or a movie". this girl holds down a professional job, makes solid money (so she no longer has to worry about paying bills and rent), has an established home life with a longtime boyfriend, and would much rather stay home and bake a pie than go out and party until last call.

but - and this is a big but - she's okay with all of that. to be honest, while i do sometimes miss the exciting chaos of the old days, it's genuinely nice to have this stability after so many years of trying to steer a ship in the middle of a goddamn hurricane.

and so, comparing a photo like the one above with my corporate team photos taken last week, i really do feel like i've finally crossed over from malcontent young girl to established grown-up career woman -- yet i don't know if i feel happy or sad about it. indifferent, i suppose, because i feel deep down inside that this how it's supposed to go. i commented on this transition to someone last week - it was either my office-mate or my mom - and they replied, "yeah, but...doesn't it feel right?"

like it's supposed to happen like this.

but i don't know if i'm supposed to be okay with it.

[ music | nine inch nails, "dead souls" (joy division cover) ]

Saturday, April 10, 2010

how things change

hope you all enjoyed the photobomb that was the last entry -- it did get me plenty of hits from people who were googling to find stuff from the hockey summit of the arts and the hootenanny nights. ;P that video, though, is pure gold. it didn't include any of the moments where the confetti-and-streamer bombs went off, but oh well. so much love.

so here's the weekend rolling around again, and i'm falling back into the much-rued cycle of not being able to have proper relaxation on the weekends on account of having too much to do. my mother says this is normal. i want to stamp my foot and disagree vehemently. anyway, here's some quick stuff as i'm on my way to the gym/grocery store/shopping mall/queen street west strip (when all i really want is to be in the kitchen)....

awesomeness: m.i.a. versus lady gaga. catfight feuds are generally pretty fun to watch, and this one should be no example. (though really, has gaga ever hit back at any of her detractors? i can't seem to recall, especially thinking of the slam that christina aguilera laid on her)

ricky wilson from the kaiser chiefs will cameo in harry potter! this sort of delights me because i always thought ricky was cute - though when i interviewed the kaisers years ago, i think it was the bass player i talked to, and he was, in brit parlance, a right tosser - but really, i'm so behind on the harry potter movies. i can't even remember how the last few goddamn books end. (speaking of books, i'm currently reading through stieg larsson's the girl who played with fire, and it is most excellent. though i do agree with noomi rapace when she said that lisbeth "is like a manga heroine" -- i keep seeing her as the punk little sister of major kusanagi.)

idolator has the best roundup of justin bieber/people cover tweets. no, really, you just have to go see this monstrosity for yourself. at least the bieb has a decent sense of humour about himself -- though i guess being from stratford will grant you a decent sense of humility. oh canada.

stereogum's worst charity music videos of all time. i for one have never seen any reason for "charity music videos" to exist. does the mtv generation really care all that much? (on that semi-related note, r.i.p. kurt cobain, sixteen years as of this past week. here we are now, entertain us.)

now that the lollapalooza lineup has been announced, i'm more or less decided on going. not because there's any particular one band i must see, but the general lineup itself is solid, plus there's chicago awesomeness involved and i'm always down for that. i figure i should probably take the tact i used on myself back in 2006: force myself to pay the $230 for a wristband and then sort out the rest of the details (date/mode of travel, accommodations etc.) from there. there's talk amongst my friends of a possible road trip to chitown, but we'll see. either way: chicago in august! let me know if you'll be there and maybe we can hang, stranger.

oh yeah, and if you're looking to get caffeinated this weekend -- here. it is literally the only coffee shop in this city that serves espresso strong enough to actually affect me these days.

alright, that's enough.

p.s. got my corporate team photos back this week. i e-mailed two of them to my mother with the caption "your daughter, captain of industry". (they're literally the kind of thing where i look at them and all i can mentally see is the dyed black hair, chipped black nail polish, leather coat, stilettos, fishnets and pvc, the five tattoos, the facial piercings...the alternagoth throughout the years has finally been supplanted by the responsible corporate adult. sigh.)

[ music | none ]

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

toronto rock city

hello! and i hope your easter was grand. resurrection, chocolate eggs and all that.

anyway, i was mostly absent because the entirety of my three-day weekend was spent at the hockey summit for the arts, in which the boyfriend was the goaltender for the halifax-dartmouth ferries. (he's actually a winnipeg boy, but shhhh)



boy limbers up before friday's second game

the summit is basically a massive three-day beer league hockey tournament in which the majority of the teams are made up of musicians and other people in arts/media. so it's hockey all day, then friday and saturday nights of the tourney are spent at the el mocambo for the hootenanny, in which teams come together to put on gimmick-y one-night performances. it's basically insane amounts of fun, and all done in good spirits. (also with the aid of good spirits, aka alcohol.) i find it just as much fun to be a spectator; meaning i get to be cute and wear denim cutoffs and basically look like much-younger trophy girlfriend. (that isn't the case, but still.)

to whit, a short picture recap of the weekend, a few from the games and more than a few from the saturday-night hootenanny:



ferries face-off against the meat









team photo time!



the morningstars do teenage head



the peterborough pneumonia/ex-rays do the clash





the chartattack hack do black sabbath





ronnie james dio interrupts the hack sabbath





the meat do "straight outta brockton"





matt barber rocks a mean cowbell



the halifax-dartmouth ferries do kiss (chris murphy as gene simmons)



the boy as peter criss







and, for additional laughs/awesomeness, watch this vid of the ferries doing "strutter" and "shout it out loud" (kevin hilliard as paul stanley cracks me up):



that's all for now - must get to the office! between the work, the gym life and the social life, it's a week of insanity over here, but i'll see if i can't get something up before the end of the week. adios!



[ music | none but furious typing ]

Friday, April 2, 2010

tired and faded

if it's good friday, that means it's a holiday for religious reasons i do not celebrate, therefore i have time to update this thing! huzzah.

so yeah, usual excuse: crazy busy life all week long. took the first of four beginner's pole-dancing fitness classes at aradia fitness last monday, and man...for only one hour of class, it basically does kick your ass. i'm used to doing a full hour of continuous exercise - i've been taking hour-long spin classes once or twice a week for the last year and a half - but not at all used to exercise that works so many muscle groups at once. by the end of the hour, i was able to do the "fireman's spin" on the pole, but any attempt to hoist myself up on the pole using my (absolutely nonexistent) upper body strength resulted in me feebly sliding down to collapse in a heap at the bottom. i would make a terrible stripper.

(on that note, new gym membership got sorted out -- i'm now a card-toting member of goodlife. first on the to-do list: upper body workouts.)

next week will be even more zany: pole class and new gym classes plus two work socials and a haircut appointment. oy.

but, you know, blah blah blah, me me me. let's have some links to soften the blow:

the a.v. club has deduced the probably lollapalooza 2010 lineup! some of it really does make me want to take the trek to chicago again this year - i know jenna's all for it - so we'll see where that goes. i'm already more or less decided on flying down to new york city for the may 2-4 long weekend, but hey, more america is good america. especially when it's chicago and/or nyc.

april fool's day is lame as hell, but fucked up pulled a good one -- and one that spread across the music media sphere, no less. definitely more imaginative than anyone else who took approximately five seconds to think of something obviously fake to put in their facebook status update. (i did this, but as a smarmy parody)

speaking of yesterday's jokes n' gags, i wasn't sure that this one wasn't, but i guess it's for real: lady gaga laptop decals. like the lady herself: pretty strange but kinda cool at the same time. also, lol macbooks.

liam gallagher has weaponized twitter! it's "perfect for calling out his rivals", apparently. whatever outlet best suits a gallagher's rival-making purposes is a-ok by me.

the return of the libertines! is this real life??

and just because i'm almost finished reading the girl with the dragon tattoo (so good i sent a copy to my suspense-novel-loving stepdad for his birthday), here are five more creepy crimes -- unsolved! seriously, the severed feet that just keep washing up on beaches in british columbia is one of the weirdest things i've heard of. (there were at least two more feet found while i was living there -- errr, not to implicate myself or anything)

alright, so long weekend officially begins now, though it won't be a lazy or relaxing one -- the boy's got his major end-of-season hockey tournament (the mighty hockey summit of the artsyork university campus, and it literally runs for the next three days. add to that the hockey hootenanny parties that are happening both tonight and tomorrow night and running til the early hours of the morning, and i may just be dead come easter monday. somebody wanna resurrect me? haha, bad joke.

okay kids, i'm out. til next time, muahaha...

p.s. after two months of fighting, my e.i. was finally sorted out, thus allowing me to file claim reports for january & february and entitling me to two months' worth of retroactive backpay. (and, at long last, i was able to close my e.i. claim, given that i'm now employed. i can leave the country again!!) my savings account is now back up to speed. i has a happy.

[ music | depeche mode, "shake the disease" ]