Sunday, March 28, 2010

getting better every day

sweet weekend good times!

even better now that our internet connection, which i so greatly bitched about in my last entry, has been more or less fixed. apparently the problem was that there were too many internet connections happening in our entire house (there's five units), and it was sort of cutting down the amount of juice we were getting. hence, the patchiness of our connection. i don't fully understand it either, and i'm still pissed at rogers for being an asshole conglomerate, but whatever. i'll live.

anyway, sorry for the crazy delays here -- been busy, as per usual. yesterday itself was quite a trip: true to my mother's passed-down love of fine leather jackets and accessories, i trekked all the way out to scarborough town centre to hunt down a very nice black leather coat on sale -- $300 off the original price. super score! (it's also hilarious to note that it looks more or less exactly like the black leather coat i owned/wore religiously 2006-2009...i literally wore it until the back was torn open. so it's nice to be back in familiar territory)

this is it, but in black. i am very much my mother's daughter.

there is also something fitting about how my first big spend after getting a new job is on black leather. i don't think i'll ever get over the old days.

under the "do we really need this?" file: sex tips from rock stars. yes, it's a book. yes, it features such dynamos as lemmy and andrew w.k. okay, at least andrew w.k.'s would probably be funny. and danko jones' would be full of incredibly naughty innuendo. still, i'd rather read anything by pamela des barres.

also, you knew this was coming: liam gallagher's coming out with a clothing line, which means that noel will of course mock him. action, reaction. i get the feeling it's all about that with the gallagher bros.

you might not care about this if you're not 1) canadian and/or 2) female, but otherwise, you'll enjoy prominent canadian womens' letters to their younger selves. incredibly inspiring. dionne brand is friggin' awesome, just saying.

the great kathleen hanna's quotable quote on kristen stewart as joan jett. still haven't gotten to see this movie yet, goddamn! i figure i'll remedy this within the next week or two.

rundown of the summer movies coming up. speaking of that, in case you missed it - though i think every toronto-affiliated news site was abuzz - the scott pilgrim vs. the world movie trailer is online, and wow, i dunno. it looks pretty awesome and insanely geeky, to be sure, but i haven't read any of the graphic novels, so - as i asked on twitter - is the girl with the weird-coloured hair really worth the hassle? (i think i'm just jaded from so many anime/manga "heroines" whom absolutely everybody, including the main hero, was in love with and would die for etc. etc. but was actually an unlikable, airheaded moron. see: relena peacecraft. heeeeeeeeero)

as far as the homestead's concerned (sorry, need to be taking more pretty pictures), been doing most of my cooking out of the kitchn these days: lamb ragu last weekend (very rich but insanely delicious over whole-wheat penne), hainanese chicken with rice earlier last week (tasty, but need a bigger bird next time), and spicy roasted chicken thighs coming up soon, along with polenta with leek and mushroom ragu some point next week. trying to expand my culinary repertoire beyond baked goods, i am.

changes in life: got a new phone. (i have a new phone number in place and have already texted it to people, but if i missed you, feel free to bug me for it and i'll let you know. unless you're a stalker or something. then, uh, no.) switching to goodlife next week. bought a martini shaker. getting my ever-lengthening hair all chopped off on the 6th. starting both pole-dancing fitness classes and a beginner's digital photography course this week. lots of different things. lots of good things.

and now, for the best thing i saw on the internets last week:

[ music | joy division, "dead souls" ]

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

closer to the edge

internet bullshit and troubles at home continue: apparently the fact that they're gouging us for $90-100 a month isn't enough for rogers -- they have to provide us with a crummy, spotty internet connection as well. it's been flipping on and off continuously since sunday and i've been more or less at the end of my rope, especially given the ridiculous bill i just had to pay, oh, last week. fuck this, seriously.

anyway, deciding to flip rogers the finger and reschedule the maintenance to wednesday (i already had plans after work on monday and i was not about to change them), i went to an author reading/signing last night at the library -- joe hill, one of my favourite new-ish authors, was in town, and since i just finished his new book horns over the weekend - read it, loved it, was engrossed in it - i went off to the library to listen to him speak, joke, answer questions and read a passage from the book. (i particularly enjoyed his previous novel, heart-shaped box, because it was about an older rock musician and his much-younger groupie girlfriend on the run from a vengeful ghost. similarities? yes!...well, except for the vengeful ghost part, we thankfully don't have one of those.)

unlike the jerks who came with stacks and stacks of books to get signed so they could sell/auction them off later, i just came with one copy -- my own, thanks. i also "won" the key for being brave enough to ask mr. hill a question in front of the entire room. free cool swag = awesome!

okay, this will be quick, since i'm not sure how long our shitty net connection will hold up for:

dave grohl overdoses on coffee. no, for real. that may be one of the most ridiculous and most fun things i've ever heard. caffeine is totally the best drug, dudes.

attention, americans who now have access to proper healthcare: you can get disability benefits for your heavy metal addiction! (or, as the boy and i call it, "metalz") well, okay, so you might have to be in sweden to reap the rewards of this bizarre arrangement. but hey, it is sweden, after all.

creepy dead weather album cover is creepy. but i kind of like it, even though i can't figure out if they're supposed to be witches or the kkk. uh, let's hope for the former (though both are equally frightening in my books). anyway, new dead weather is bound to be good stuff in general, so: hurrah!

idolator wins for the best lady gaga pic to go with this piece. roar!!!1 (though quite honestly, the second picture just makes me think more of vagina dentata, and then i wish i couldn't think anymore)

cancon: was anybody else aware of the slightly mindblowing fact that dragon brett wilson is dating sarah mclachlan? i mean, wtf? that makes a bit more sense than, say, those rumours of cujo hooking up with shania twain, but still. we have some strange, strange couplins up here in the north.

do want this shirt. a black girly tee in medium shall be mine.

i need a liquor cabinet. keeping eyes peeled once spring cleaning happens and people leave useful stuff by the curbs.

takin' care of business.

debating solo trip to new york city for may 2-4 long weekend. two hurdles to overcome: 1) price and 2) crippling fear of flying. (no, it hasn't gotten better. it will never get better.) we shall see.

[ music | white stripes, "fell in love with a girl"]

Sunday, March 21, 2010

play dead play straight

whew. long, self-involved blog entries are fun, aren't they?

but hey, thanks for indulging me in the last couple entries -- i need to get that shit off my chest once and a while. people have been telling me for years that i need to write a book someday, and though i can't even conceptualize anything of that sort yet, perhaps one day these such blog entries will form the bedrock. who knows.

still, i've said it before and i'll say it again, maddeningly so: the real story lies in the parts i don't talk about. har har.

um, anyway, sxsw! it's on right now! and i'm...not there! some year, people -- some year, i will go. but apparently it's as off the hook as usual - muse in a no-frills club show! - and i'm bitter about not making it down to austin, but what else is new. i swear i'm gonna be fortysomething when i finally make it to south by.

and yet nothing there will be able to top "trololololo cat":

going back to the other top video of the year (though personally, i preferred "bad romance"): fox news lady gets lady gaga way, way wrong (with idolator providing the clever rebuttals). but fuck, what can you expect, it's fox news. that's like opening a baby-sitter's club book and expecting high literature.

ac/dc show might be compromised by leftover war bombs. sometimes you really just can't make this shit up. thunderstruck, anyone?

if you're looking to have your mind blown instead, check out six insane coincidences from history. this is the sort of thing i love, even though i wrote a twelve-page essay on free will vs. determinism when i was in high school. shit is messed up.

check out chrissy's excellent review of the runaways, which the boy and i are going to see this week. i know it's getting mezzo-mezzo reviews, but i'd see it even if it were a wholly fictional tale. good stuff.

also, i have been introduced to a new site of hilarity: buzzfeed. i am so behind on the memes, i know, but oh man: kittens and tiger woods' sexts. don't even ask. just read it. and blame me when you can't breathe for laughing so hard for the next ten minutes.

tmi-time update on the whole no-pill situation: been just over eight weeks since i took my last pill and no sign of the red flag. slightly worrisome to be sure, but both my mother and my doctor are of the same opinion: because 1. i've just gone off the pill for the first time in eight years, 2. i'm thin, and 3. i work out a lot, my period might not come back for a while. and/or it might be abnormally erratic for some time. i'm quite obviously not preggo, but man, i can't imagine what it would be like for a young woman in my shoes who'd be trying to get pregnant post-pill. i'd be a lot more worried about my fertility if it weren't for the fact that i do not intend on having children at all, ever.

hot on the heels of that last entry, i figured i needed a pick-me-up -- thanks to allegra for the idea!

25 Things I Love About My Life Right Now

1. i'm employed again! and employed by a completely awesome team within a forward-thinking pr firm. life is looking good career-wise, and for once i'm totally excited about my job.
2. i've successfully managed to pull off one of the few family recipes that's been passed down to me: my great-grandmother's perfect pastry dough. this fills me with pride.
3. my boyfriend. despite everything, seriously, he fucking rocks my world.
4. when i write entries like this one, it feels really good to see the progression of who i used to be to who i am now. the improvements in my life and myself are totally visible and that makes me happy.
5. i get to dress up all nicelike for work. go go, business casual!
6. i live in toronto. there's still nothing better.
7. i am always secure in the knowledge that my childhood (well, adolescent) home is a safe zone for me, and i'm welcome to go home at any time.
8. on that note, my family system. i have a rock solid one and i'm forever thankful for that.
9. i'm at a pretty decent weight for my height (128 pounds at 5'7"). i need to remember to love that a little more.
10. i'm able to make time almost every night - usually an hour before falling asleep - to just lie in bed and read a book.
11. my friends are fantastic, awesome, caring people who are a blast to spend time with.
12. date nights with the boy. if we go out, we'll see a movie, go to dinner, go out for drinks...if we stay in, we'll rent a movie, make popcorn, dim the lights and be that disgusting cuddle-on-the-couch couple that you all hate. either way, it's good bonding time.
13. spring is coming! which means summer is also coming, which means hot patio times in the city.
14. i'm not smoking anymore and i'm okay with that. i don't really need it, and it feels a lot healthier not to.
15. my two favourite features, my hair and my legs, are currently operating at full capacity. thank you, healthy fats and regular exercise!
16. i'm finally able to keep a budget (and stay on it), pay all my bills, put money towards paying off my debts, and still have a good amount left over for whatever i want. this, my friends, is profitable adulthood.
17. got my swab test results back from my doctor the other day -- no cervical cancer! hurrah!
18. i'm thankful for my deep and desperate capacity for loving 80s-90s goth/post-punk music. i could never do without.
19. on the above note, i can die happy having seen depeche mode, the sisters of mercy, peter murphy, and echo & the bunnymen, all in the last two years. (sure, none of them were in their prime, but one takes what one can get...)
20. i love the fact that i can derive so much pleasure from simply writing. writing well comes as easily to me as breathing, and it makes me cringe to see how many high school kids - and university-age kids! - just can't fucking grasp the basics of writing the english language.
21. i work in downtown toronto, finally. the vibe is so amazing.
22. i'm not allergic to any common food allergens, like shellfish or peanut butter. this would make me die a little inside.
23. my ladyfriends are rad.
24. i'm taking both a digital photography course and pole-dancing fitness classes in april/may. i like a varied schedule.
25. i don't think i've reached my full potential yet. which just means there's so much more to come.

and off we go!

[ music | the dead weather, "cut like a buffalo" ]

Friday, March 19, 2010

just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there

once upon a time, on the back of a postcard, i copied this leonard cohen poem for a boy. for the boy.


It gets dark at four o'clock now
The windshield is filled with night and cold
the motor running for the heater's sake
We finally forgive ourselves
and touch each other between the legs
At last I can feel the element of welcome in our kisses

...earlier tonight, my mother reminded me that it'll soon be two years since i came back. she also warned, "this will be the hardest thing you've ever had to do in your life."

and isn't it.

[ music | none ]

Sunday, March 14, 2010

to the girl i used to know

i fell in love with music in the summer of 1999. i was fifteen.

that seems late to a lot of you, i'm sure. i'm sure many of you, my readership, are lifelong fans of music, having been raised on it from an early age by music-loving (or possibly musician) parents. you can probably name seminal albums that were played in your house during childhood -- the beatles, dylan, rolling stones, joan baez.

me? my childhood was made up of cbc radio 1 (canadian talk radio, for my american readers) and andrew lloyd webber show tunes.

but i guess one can also point to the fact that i didn't own a proper stereo of my own until i was a teenager; until then, whatever the parents had on was what i listened to. (my parents also had soft spots for country/folkie crooner ladies like trisha yearwood, linda ronstadt, alannah myles, jann arden and jennifer warnes. no wonder i'm not a huge fan of female singers) of course, this all changed when my parents broke up and my mother moved my sister and i with her to kingston, where my teenage years began -- and, as everyone knows, all teenagers of the 90's need their own stereo. it was practically a constitutional right in 1999.

so i'd been getting into music in bits and pieces for the last few years at that point, but nothing that really grabbed me; i had albums by no doubt, savage garden and prozzak - all de rigueur pop candy for kids my age - and, given that we had cable(!!) now, i was watching muchmusic in dribs and drabs (though of course, years prior to this i had the same experience every kid has -- turning on muchmusic to see a particularly traumatizing nine inch nails video and being too scared to watch the channel since). another toe in the water was letting in the influence of my new stepfather and younger stepsister, both of whom had far superior musical tastes than i did at that point in time. stepsis and i in particular used to spend many evenings listening to the cool new-and-classic rock station, 103.1 the river (now sadly defunct, r.i.p.) from brockville, and begging our respective parents to always have it on in the car. it was all starting to swell to the surface for me.

then one day, in the summer of 1999, this song came on the radio, and i was basically hypnotized for the following four and a half minutes:

...yeah, okay, laugh at me all you want now, but that song ripped my fifteen-year-old heart out. i was a neo-romantic (still am), as well as being a hormonal young teenage girl, which is a bad and/or prime combination. (to whit: soon after my love for the tea party hit like a fucking tsunami, i fell for the sappy pseudo-christian ballads of live. their single "lightning crashes" was a monster hit with my schoolmates and i when we were, oh, eleven. are you feeling old yet?) i mean, fuck, i just watched that video and i still got goosebumps at the "hold on, my love, hold on" part at the end. i am not even sorry and i am so not ashamed.

so there was my tea party love, striking in full force. (little did i know that ten years down the line, i would have interviewed them no less than three times, as well as attend the shooting of one of their later music videos) on my begging requests, i received the aformentioned "stereo of my own" for my birthday that fall, along with "heaven coming down" album triptych, which was good because the cassette i'd recorded that song to off the radio was wearing out from overplays. that christmas, i asked for two of the tea's back catalogue, transmission and splendor solis, and lo, it was good. i found i was much more into the darker, edgy, drug-fuelled transmission, if only because my neo-romantic innocent-dreamer state was receding more into my personal background due to a storm of angry teenage hormones and rebellious behaviour. i had just passed my not-so-sweet sixteen. you know how it is.

little did i know that the bigger milestone was coming up fast.

the scene: teenage girl lying on her stomach on the floor of her bedroom on a weekday night, math textbook open in front of her, radio on (103.1 the river, of course). girl blankly trying to solve algebra equations; failing miserably. then this song came on the radio, and girl's life changes forever.

i was an absolute fucking goner.

this was what i had been looking for in music. this. ever since i'd gotten into the tea party the previous year, i had an inkling in the back of my mind about the power of music -- that rock music had a certain power to make one feel things right deep down in one's primordial gut. the tea's music was the closest i had come to feeling that, but somewhere inside me, i knew there was much more untapped potential. there was a band out there that would belong to me -- i just had to find them.

that night in 2001, they found me.

i'd heard moist quite a bit at this point, actually. their last album's singles "breathe" and "underground" had gotten a lot of play on the river in the summer/fall of 2000, but they didn't hook me the way "resurrection" did. it was in the same vein as anything off of the tea's transmission album -- dark, almost sinister in its tones, and undeniably melodic. i hastily snapped up every moist album i could find, and listened to them all endlessly and repeatedly. i could have cried. this was it.

but i was, unfortunately, too late to catch the bandwagon. no pun intended.

moist, as a band, were on hiatus by 2001. "hiatus," as anyone in the music industry well knows, is most often code for "broken up". despite the band's denials that they had all parted ways, it became more and more undeniable as frontman david usher launched a burgeoning solo career, particularly hitting his stride with this memorable 2001 single:

still one of the best songs he's done, by the way. (weird tie-in!: jeff martin, frontman of the tea party, produced this version of the song and played the guitar solo at the end. you can imagine how this blew my mind.)

for many of us, to be a moist fan meant that you were also a fan of david's work - mostly because david employed a few former members of his old band, so it was sort of like moist - and i succumbed wholeheartedly, especially given the delicate fucked-up-ness of his previous solo album little songs. (i know that by now, david's more or less been reinvented as a mom-friendly light-rock favourite, but seriously, go find that album. it's destructively amazing. the second line of the first song is "i still hate you motherfuckers everyone" -- sung all lilting and prettylike. best. ever. there's also a song titled "jesus was my girl" that features the memorable lyrics "fucking's over but i can't stop cumming". omfg)

as with any fandom, i threw myself inside wholeheartedly, joining his official forum at the time - later moving my way up the ranks to be promoted to moderator status - and, more importantly, joining the travelling group of fangirls who made their way to as many david shows as possible all across the country. my ultimate goal was their ultimate goal (though they'd already achieved it, quite frankly): befriend the band. let them know how passionately we loved their music. we're not groupies, we're band-aids., i can't really go much into this point in my life here; it would require a whole other blog entry, and honestly, i think i'd better save it for the inevitable book i will write in the future. simply, it was one of the defining periods of my life, but also one that would eventually lead me down a path of heartbreak, backstabbing betrayal, ground-zero self-esteem, and a whole lotta bullshit. but still -- i truly came of age here, on the road and in the front row and backstage, and this time in my life made me who i am today. for real.

and so now, in the "real world," it was spring 2002 and i was coming to the end of my high school tenure in kingston. time to figure out where i was going to go to university. but, because my life was so utterly influenced by my love for the band, my main priority was not so much my future schooling and ultimate career path, but get to where the rockstars are. that being, of course, toronto, the capital city of our fair province of ontario. the band all lived there (and many of the fangirl posse as well) so if i also lived there, there'd sure to be plenty of chances to run into them and further befriend them. (please note that i use the word "befriend" for exactly as it is, and not some code word for sexual advances -- they were all too high above me to even consider making moves on. sure, i had a googly fangirl crush on keyboardist kevin, but i was still in my awkward-girl phase and had barely any idea how to flirt.)

off i went to toronto that fall - though i soon after "broke up" with david's posse of fangirls, if only because i was tired of the daggers being concealed - and the tone was set for what would be the next 5-6 years of my life, if not my life entirely. again, this would be another entire blog entry unto itself, but i'll try to sum it up quickly: because of david's band, i started hanging out at bars and clubs, seeing as many shows as possible in hopes that i might run into any of them there. i befriended other bands that had any tenuous ties possibly to david's band, and then eventually started loving them for who they were themselves. the circle expanded, as it were, and i became a loyal fangirl for many bands and many "rockstar boys" as i jokingly called them. however, as i was in my early twenties at this point and no longer teenage fangirl jailbait, it became a lot harder - for both myself and the guys in the bands - to resist the siren call of groupiedom. i became loyal in a lot of other ways, let's just say that.

i won't name names because really, it's inconsequential. they are inconsequential. "you will be nothing but a footnote in the story of my life," i angrily scribbled in my diary in regards to one of such, uh, suitors. but sadly, my life, my self-esteem and my burgeoning sexuality began to become defined by these encounters, no matter how long or how short they lasted, no matter how famous (or not) these musicians were. it was a bad cycle, dudes. and yet i couldn't bring myself to leave it, couldn't snap myself out of it even though it conflicted with my newfound professionalism as a freelance music journalist. i thrived on it -- absolutely loved the stratospheric highs and rock-bottom lows of the lifestyle. in retrospect, it's true i was being treated like shit; also in retrospect, i recognize that i did more or less put myself there. i never aimed higher for myself. what i had was enough, even if it made me miserable more than it made me happy.

and so the music became intertwined with the men who made it, and they became intertwined with me and my life, and it all became one crazy whirlwind of a cycle that lasted many years and through many heartbreaks. (you can probably understand how low my trust of musicians was by the time i met my current boyfriend, he himself a longtime musician. by now i refused to believe there were any "good" ones out there -- that is, "good" being not chronically unfaithful, not cruel, not unsympathetic. y'know, actually caring about the other person in the relationship besides themselves and their ginormous ego. fortunately, my boyfriend is none of those negative things, and has thus restored at least a bit of my faith in the male species. still, 98% of guys in bands are assholes. remember that, girls.)

part of the whole exodus-to-vancouver thing was a culmination of a couple of disastrous treatments at the hands of band guys -- one who i legitimately had a crush on, but he more or less used me (and, sadly, i let him); and one who i was desperately trying to have a real, honest relationship with, but he treated me with so much rollercoaster insensitivity that i felt like garbage most of the time. at that point, in july of 2007, i knew i had to get out. for my own sake and my own sanity, i had to leave the city of rockstars and leave my old life - my old destructive self - behind. it was time to grow up and discover my own self-worth, outside of the backstage area, undefined by men who didn't remember my name in the morning -- if they bothered to learn it at all. (you can see my eulogy for the boys and the groupie lifestyle at the end of this entry here.)

so, there was a healing process involved. there was a lot of purging. there was a lot of coming to grips with the not-so-nice things i'd done. but at the end of the tunnel, i came out a much more satisfied person -- someone who doesn't need the affirmation of a two-bit indie musician asshole to define who she is. as for owning myself completely, i'm not totally there yet - not at the point my mother always says she wants to see me at, in which i live my life for myself and not give a shit what others think - but i'm moving towards it, day by day. know what, though? i think i'm okay. i think i'm better than okay, now. it took that soul-searching time in vancouver - and the real, honest love of a good man - to bring me back, to rebuild the parts of me that had been incorrectly put together from the get-go. many people who've known me for the last few years of my life have remarked that i seem much happier now than i've ever been before. but, i mean, those years of bullshit and insanity were growing-up years, you know? it was the turbulence of self-maturation, and we all go through it -- just in different ways. every single one of us has a story like mine. i just consciously tried to make mine as epic as possible, so i'd have a real good story to tell, years down the line.

mission accomplished, i think.

[ music | moist, "breathe" ]

Thursday, March 11, 2010

playing with my delirium

longtime readers and friends: thanks for hanging around through the last entry. my new readership is on the rise again, and i figured an introductory blog post would be necessary (at the very least, so i could have an "about me" type link in the sidebar). it's a somewhat abbreviated life history, of course, but i think it gives a decent rundown of who i am, where i come from, where i'm going, etc. i know i usually click on the "about me" link of new bloggers i'm reading, so hopefully that'll be useful for the newbs. hello!

it's that time of year again: canadian music week 2010 - also known as canadian music fest, but i don't think anybody's calling it that yet - is upon us, and once again, i'm able to take a breather and not have to worry about running from club to club, or else sit at one club from 8 p.m. until 3 a.m. reviewing shitty bands i've never heard of. yeah, not so much into the reviewing scene anymore -- though i do miss having a pass, for sure. jam! has some bands you should check out, though my current cmw plans consist of reviewing our lady peace tomorrow night (yes, it's the recreation of clumsy, and i fully expect to be flooded with flashbacks from my not-so-precocious adolescence -- also, do not try to argue me over whether or not it's a seminal canadian rock album, because i will fervently argue that it is, and you will lose the argument) and heading to the silver dollar on saturday. other than that, all bets are off. i suspect i might spend a lot of this weekend sleeping, really.

at the same time, down south you will find south by southwest 2010 happening, and has the 50 must-see bands at the fest. fucked up and priestess, represent!

there is, literally, a wilco-themed sandwich shop here in toronto. i caught sight of this place when i was walking on bloor last weekend, but didn't get the wilco reference at all. probably because i don't really like wilco. i do, however, like sandwiches.

i also like rock band, and 3 is coming next winter. ah, the ever-present drunken memories of playing rock band on saturday nights - post-hockey, pre-going out on the town - with leora and company in vancouver.

speaking of friends of vancouver friends, dd/mm/yyyy are scheduled to play 20 shows at southby. i feel like there's one of these bands every year (the kind that try to make marathons out of the festival) to see that it's a canadian group this time around. go for the win!

good god, do i even need to remind you people to read the matblog? if that post won't make you bookmark his blog immediately, then there is no hope for you. none! i'm sorry.

nothing really new as far as the life updates are concerned. almost finished my second week of the new job; things are going stellar and i continue to be way happy with the company, so that's a definite plus. gonna have to watch the scale and keep up with my gym regime, though -- there's some wining and dining involved with this job, and that combined with being a cubicle dweller means i might end up blowing up like a balloon. i lost five pounds after my marketing agency job tanked in december, and i'm positive that was all due to the fact that i wasn't sitting at a desk for eight hours a day anymore. now that i'm back in that position again, i gotta watch myself -- i hate feeling so sluggish. my metabolism loves it some carbs.

weekender coming up: spin class & gym-going obviously, get my way through that cmw madness, run some errands, do some cookin' (thinking of this shrimp penne for saturday, and maybe pumpkin turkey chili on sunday -- should i bake a pie for national pi day?), grumble at the fact that i have to take time out of my next monday to go to my doctor's on the other side of town just because i want my test results from over a month ago, and so on, and so forth.

in the meantime, enjoy some embarrassing pictures that didn't make the cut in the about-me entry:

oh fuck - 2000? 2001? jenn might know -- it was the year before our epic cosplay. and, to save our dignity, that's all i can say about that.

day of senior prom, june 2002. nose rings and candy-kid bracelets were so cool back then.

2002. i really don't even know what to say about this one. um, i love jagermeister? and fake bling, obviously.

2003. r.i.p. labret piercing, i still miss you. also, still hilarious how i actually look decent in this photo, when it was taken in chicago post-12 hour bus ride and i'd been awake for like 35 hours straight at this point.

[ music | leafs game, 2-2 against the lightning ending the 2nd, go leafs go! ]

Saturday, March 6, 2010

rather be abandoned

funny how my return to the working world coincides with the return of my social life. friday night was a barrel of fun, involving old friend/ex-vancouver housemate matthew coming through town (he left vancouver about six months after i did, and now lives in ottawa), and he, jenna and i heading to sushi on bloor for dinner. however, one thing to be noted is that whenever matthew and i get together, we turn sushi-eating into a competitive sport. seriously, it's like an endurance test for the two of us. when we were in vancouver, he and i went to toshi sushi for my goodbye dinner - and then again to the eatery for a larger goodbye party with friends - and it was basically seeing how swollen we could make our stomachs. good times.

last night? no different. ouch.

this is not sushi, but rather a present matthew brought me back from his trip home to england. again, when we lived in the same house in vancouver, he used to complain about how he couldn't find any "real" heinz tomato soup in canada. i didn't know what the hell he was talking about until he brought a few cans back for me after he went home for christmas that year. holy. shit. this stuff is like god in a can. is it so wrong that i'm considering bidding $15 for four cans of it on ebay right now?

then i was off to a puma promo party with the boy. said party was to have open bar. my kidneys shuddered in fear.

lovely complimentary swag scarves they gave out at the event. dean also snagged a cool yellow puma umbrella.

it was a definite good time - saw a few people i knew, made a few new acquaintances - and i actually exercised an incredible amount of restraint when i turned down a fifth drink. four jiggers is my typical limit when it comes to alcohol - five brings me to a bad place - and after i hit the fourth vodka soda, i stopped. come this morning, i was very glad i did. when i was a young'un, i'd go absolutely nuts at open bar parties, but now that i'm older and wiser and have many painful hungover mornings behind me, i know better. oh lord, do i.

on the heels of my resurging social life, it's interesting to read something like this as a good lesson for torontonians -- one maybe i should even take note of. to be fair, i think vancouver is much colder and clique-y than toronto, but no city's perfect. just a reflection of its denizens.

there's a reason why oscar's a dude. uh, well, we think. he doesn't exactly have genitals or anything. anyway, that there's an interesting read regarding the state of women in the acting biz. and hey, isn't it weird how most of the op-ed pieces i link to from here lately are feminist pop-culture issues? showing my roots, i guess.

keeping with the topic, idolator has their own oscar red carpet wins and fails. remember bennifer? man, the more time goes on, the weirder that coupling gets.

nice little article on muse. i've sort of fallen out from my muse love post-absolution, which is a shame because i know they're doing good stuff, but i've just never gotten into the whole prog scene. never. i like short and fast, not long and noodling. comes from my attention span.

i am so confused by this. does anybody know what the fuck is going on here? kat, have you been keeping up with this weirdness? my brain hurts.

speaking of hurting, i'm off to make my muscles do just that at the gym. happy saturday!

[ music | death cab for cutie, "meet me on the equinox" ]

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

moonage daydream

wow man, it feels like sleep time already over here. getting back into the swing of being awake and alert at 7 a.m. is a rough ride right now. should be fine by next week, but right now, caffeine will be tapped into my veins daily. errr, as if it isn't already.

...but! because where i work is super-cool and progressive, for the first time, i've made my personal side of the internets (aka my twitter and this blog url) publicly known to coworkers. thus: hello, coworkers in canada and the u.s.! welcome to my social realm. i hope you enjoy music & pop culture gossip, hockey talk and pictures of food.

either kat or i must steal this sign for our kitchens.

anyway, if that's any indication, then everything is going well and i am completely stoked to have this position. here's the nerdy thing: i am so delighted to be working a cool job in downtown toronto. it's cheesy to say, but from adolescence all the way to the end of my university tenure (four years of research slavery, breakdowns, and my money being sucked into a pit), i always imagined myself walking through the downtown big city on the way to my professional job. this has kind of been what i've been going for all along; it just took me an extra four years of rejection, crappy jobs, relocation, resignation, and employer bankruptcy to get there. and now, here i am. and damn if i'm not super-pleased and proud to be here, finally. culmination of life goals, so far = a most excellent thing.

and downtown toronto makes me happy beyond words, even though i still have to hike my ass uptown to my gym for the remainder of march. after this month, though -- new gym! new job! so much change all at once!

it is nice though, really, to be working again -- to be productive in a professional career capability, that is. before the unceremonious bankruptcy of my last job, the longest i'd been without work was about a month (when i'd just moved back to toronto from vancouver in may 2008). up until this week, i'd been out of work since december 14th. that's...a hell of a long time to be sitting around at home. granted, i was keeping myself busy well enough - job applications and interviews, running errands, cooking, blogging, going to the gym almost every morning, etc - but it was definitely getting to the point where i was starting to feel bored, listless, useless, what have you. now: self-worth up 200%. huzzah!

it's also nice to have a daily excuse to, well, wear nice clothes (ie. something other than beat-up jeans and band hoodies), makeup, a bra...all that decency. i clean up good.

here's some quick tidbits for your late wednesday night (early thursday morning?):

juno awards nominees released today. yeah, it's...pretty much what you'd think. i'm fairly certain the boy - himself a past juno award winner, though last weekend he was advising his mom to use the trophy to scrape ice off her car windshield - planted his head into his desk numerous times. as did i, babe, as did i. anyway, exclaim! has a decent wrapup of the nomination party.

some of the more "creative" pop-star facebook groups. actually quite clever, them. not much compared to my favourite group (which i'm a proud member of), "you're not that good-looking enough to be that much of an asshole". yes, the sentence structure is messed up; yes, that adds to the charm; yes, i joined that group in the aftermath of a breakup to send a passive-aggressive message to an old flame. i'm so rad, i know.

duff mckagan in jane's addiction? what is this madness? i'm so over old band reunions. unless, say, moist wants to jump in at any point.

speaking of duff,'s biggest hair gallery. pretty much exactly what it sounds like. who's missing the 80's right now? party time!

alright, rather than party time, it's tune-out-in-front-of-the-tv time. be back on the weekend, after friday-night social madness (sushi date with jenna and old vancouver friend matthew, followed by a promo party with the boy). life's getting back up to speed, dear readership.

[ music | csi: lieutenant dan, it's pretty bad tonight ]

Monday, March 1, 2010

from sea to sea

again, hockey talk out of the way first and foremost: last night made me proud not only to be a canadian, but to be a hockey fan in general. this article sums it up perfectly, especially this part: "Someone made the decision to watch their NHL team's next game. Some kid just made the choice to play hockey. Someone just learned the names Crosby, Miller, Luongo for the first time. Hockey has some new fans." and that's at the heart of it. i'm stoked beyond belief that team canada won - and really, could it have been any other way? of course it was going to be crosby - but seriously, that was 75 minutes of the best hockey i've ever seen played. and i watch a lot of hockey. for a girl and all.

also, i am proud to have been a sidney crosby fan for the last couple of years. nobody deserves this more than the kid. i bet mario was proud. (and don't even get me started on my mario lemieux love.)

anyway, the twitterfeed was jumping last night, proving that twitter's become a pretty indispensible social tool. and also a damn good time. you should join.

now, to start your monday off right, here's a gallery of random shots from the "david bowie party" thrown at jenna's place saturday night (which will forever go down in my memory as the night i drank an entire bottle of red wine, and then some):

the party was an idea of her roommate's, and yes, the concept was to dress up like bowie, or in bowie-style, or as a "friend of bowie" (such as iggy pop, or jennifer connelly in labyrinth). i simply tried to look as mod and male as possible -- in other words, recreating my look from my entire second year of university, when i fanatically wore blazers and neckties. but usually in conjuncture with miniskirts and heavy eyeliner. i guess i really belonged in the 80's.

couple links for ya, to go with those unfortunate mental visuals (sorry):

the rock star myth is dead, long live the...rock star? how the internet has spoiled the "mystique" of rock n' roll excess. which all makes sense on a certain level, i guess. definitely a great read, comparing the old-school musicians who still prefer to do things the "traditional" way versus the new vanguard of musicians who utilize the internet and social media to their advantage. fascinating stuff!

along those same veins - same sort of opinion article, same country of origin (great britain) - how pop became porn. safe for work, and also a good read, especially for my female/feminist readers. i mean, this is a losing battle that's been going on for years and years and years, but it's always good to step back and take a look at it sporadically. i wonder what betty friedan would think. (my father bought me a copy of the feminine mystique when i was sixteen, and i devoured it. with my fanged vagina!! hahahaha not quite.)

the horrors are working on their third album, which makes me pleased, even if i was a bit less than pleased with their last album. didn't hold up too well on repeat listenings, even though it's awesome it got such widespread accolades as it did. still, "sheena is a parasite," now...there's a classic speed-punk song for you.

fresh horror of a different sort: john mayer and ke$ha flirting online. does the world really need this? i feel like it's a step backwards for evolution.

much classier is the news that renée fleming is doing an indie covers album. definitely know what i'm getting my dad for father's day -- he loves opera and ms. fleming. actually, i might like to have a listen as well, if only to hear her sing muse and the mars volta.

so now, here we are: on the precipice. i'll be at my new job as of tomorrow, and it's a monday-to-friday 9-to-5 dealie, which means drastically less fucking-around-on-the-internets time, and more serious-business-on-the-internets time. but honestly, i'm okay with that, because it's a super-great job, i'm super-excited, and best of all, my parents are super-proud of me. there is lots of super-ness (superlatives?) going around right now.

but yeah, it's pretty cool that my parents are thrilled i've landed this job. sure, they love any excuse to point out that getting my university degree was worth it after all (my black hole of lingering student debt would say differently), but even they sounded shocked and amazed at the salary and benefits and experience that's coming their youngest daughter's way. one more nail in the coffin of "she's not our little baby girl anymore", i suppose. adulthood, hurrah!

does this mean i won't have as much time for blogging anymore? well, possibly. i'll do my best to keep updating as regularly as i can, but as before, there might be stretches when i don't post anything, which means i'm (thankfully) busy with life again. it's going to be a matter of adjustment and balance for me for the next week or two, and i hope you'll stick with me during the transition period. it's onwards and upwards from here on, my friends.


[ music | the clash, "london calling" ]