Thursday, August 27, 2009

gold and warm

busy weeks, argh. but we made it to thursday! now can it be friday? please.

(though i have to say, i don't feel as guilty about not updating this blog so much because it seems like nobody updates their blogs for weeks and weeks these days. where is everybody?)

i guess the biggest - and modularly geeky - news around here (other than the fact that i'm probably going in next weekend to get foxy librarian glasses) is that we've managed to hook up my re-liberated playstation 1 (though i finally had to cave and buy a second controller for it -- i'd never needed another one before), and ended up with a plethora of '99-2000 era sports games, courtesy of both dean's and my individual coworkers. however, i was not to be outdone -- given that i have always despised sports games, i went ahead on ebay and used the buy-it-now option to grab four awesome games from my adolescence:

- super puzzle fighter II turbo
- toshinden 2 plus (oh you are fucking right i bought tsd2+)
- street fighter alpha 3
- bloody roar II

so: one crazy fun puzzle game and three fighting games (all rated teen except for bloody roar II, i think...if i recall right, the mass amount of gore got that a mature rating, but holy shit is it ever a cool fighting game). ahhh, feels like my childhood. i played tsd2+ last night and nearly cried tears of nostalgic joy. it's just like i remember.

did any of you know that i used to have ambitions to be a writer for a video game magazine? but then i realized that it would cost too much money to keep up with all the latest consoles/games, so i sold my soul to rock n' roll instead. and here we are.

bye-bye, maximo park north american tour. to be completely honest, i wasn't even sure they were still together. where are the futureheads, has anybody heard from them lately? art brut? boy kill boy? (i find it rather unfortunate than wolfmother are making a comeback, if only because i know i will entirely fucking sick of their new single - tailor-made for rock band! - within the next two weeks)

travis barker vs shanna moakler, round 4,826. honest to f'in god, can't these two either break up (and stay broken up) or just get back together for the kids?? the world already has one pamela anderson & tommy lee. (and i've always sort of loved them as a couple, in an ultra-sleezy rock n' roll way)

old folks review radiohead. you know that sounds insanely awesome.

there's gonna be a giant theramin party at pop montreal! well, maybe. i kind of totally fucking hope so. after i mentioned this epic news to my boyfriend, he and i made dueling theramin sounds at each other for about five minutes. we're nerds.

them crooked vultures: all hail the new best-ever supergroup! times like this make me love the music world. when the horror that is creed is making a comeback, you just sorta have to cling on to any hope and faith you can find.

also, another band you should be listening to: die mannequin. their new single "bad medicine" is all over radio up here, and they're touring with marilyn manson soon (as my boyfriend's old band did in the 90's -- and he's definitely got stories to tell...whew). plus they're cool people. the end.

over at the matblog, our favourite guyliner devotee is dispensing advice to questions asked by fans in the blog's comment section. it's really...well, uh, it's really a whole lot of something. it definitely is that.

philanthropy week is almost done -- by tomorrow, i will have mailed off birthday presents & cards for four different people (stepsister, sister, mother, and non-brother adam), and i still had time/shame enough to drop $30 on a new pair of ipod ear buds for myself (hey, the sound blew out of the left bud -- i need my tunes). next up: boyfriend birthday in late september. and i already have things coming together, oh yes i do. hee.

weekend project: homemade chicken molé. and playing a lot of video games. and taking the boy's teenaged son to the ex. onward!

[ music | white rose movement, "cigarette machine" (club mix) ]

Friday, August 14, 2009

no secrets this year the way, who is it from vancouver/burnaby that keeps quietly visiting this blog? i know there's delna and leora as my west-coast readership (sup dudes?), but it looks like there's one or possibly two other vancouverites who keep up with my doings here. speak up, mysterious reader(s)! given that you're from van, chances are that i miss you. (there is also a slim chance that you are one of the few that i do not miss. but oh well, them's the breaks.)

also, 'sup my two new blogger followers -- lang and jasmine! badass profile photos, both of you. cheers to that.

it's funny, but i'm already looking forward to september and october, if only because there's so much good stuff to anticipate in both. september has the labour-day long weekend, my boyfriend's birthday, and kill hannah at the end of the month; october has placebo on the 6th (i'm reviewing it for chart), my own birthday, the thanksgiving long weekend to spend in kingston with my family, and possibly maybe hopefully cmj in new york city (gotta see about finances, time off work, press accreditation, etc). it would be a most excellent trip, just to get out and go away for a weekend with friends and indulge my rock-critic side while i'm at it. i gotta keep myself grounded in my ultimate career ambition, after all.

and then, it's also new york city. it's also manhattan. it's also the site of where i traded something important - both physically and emotionally - in order to fully gain access to the world that had once been locked off to me -- to fully go over from starry-eyed fangirl to out-of-control groupie, by far one of the most pivotal decisions of my life so far. if any of you missed the epic story in my old blog, you can read it for yourself here. or, if you want the quick summary, i lost my virginity to a rock star in new york city.

.....okay, okay, i lost my virginity to an indie musician in a new jersey hotel room. the first version just sounds more impressive, you know?


almost on that same topic (or related, at least): the globe and mail studies the phenomenon of attached men appearing more attractive to women. yes. yes, yes yes. i could've volunteered for that damn study myself. it's an awful truth, but the competitive nature of us ladytypes does so easily lead to "mate poaching". seen it. done it myself. not proud of it afterward. the end.

in a move that surprises pretty much no one, vfest has moved back to toronto. having it take place in orillia - an hour outside of toronto - was a dumb idea to begin with, really. i've only been to one virgin festival - the inaugural one in 2006 - but i had a pretty great time, all things considered, and it made me fall in love with toronto island, which i'd never been to. still, this really does look like a snafu in the making, so i think i'll just watch from a distance as it all goes down. and possibly laugh a bit. evilly.

holy shit, andrew w.k.! bringing the party -- now with modern classical piano compositions and touring with a string quartet. i really think i need to meet - and, of course, party - with this dude someday. my friends who know him say he's awesome, and after this news, i can definitely believe it.

pitchfork has the video of patrick wolf attacking a woman onstage. between that incident and his hissy fit in toronto, dude is seriously losing it.

weekend edition: my boyfriend's teenaged son is coming tomorrow and staying with us overnight, which should make for fun times (even if trying to imagine my boyfriend as a dad has thus far been impossible for me), and in the meantime i'll be busying myself with baking, cleaning, running errands and busting my ass in spin class tomorrow morning. (by the way, spinning really pays off the minute you realize you've been attending classes twice a week for ten months straight, and your legs look really fucking good. trust me on this -- that was my yesterday.)

[ music | the cure, "fascination street" ]

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

here comes the sun

anybody else remember the days when i used to have short punky black-dyed hair and i wore too much black eyeliner and i wore something gothy with every outfit every day? i'm kind of forgetting that, and it makes me sad. at least my tattoos will always be there.

speaking of tattoos and old forever loves, kill hannah's pure volume page has new song "strobe lights" to listen to! i am seriously, stupidly psyched for their new album, wake up the sleepers. remember when i got their previous new album? it was a summer of good times, that. and my feelings about them remain the same now. it's nice to still be able to cling to the remnants of a happier, more innocent time.

again with the segueways -- speaking of such times, there is a new ambitious trip on the want list: cmj in new york city this october. i feel like 2009 is becoming my year of revisiting places of great past importance in my life, and if anything, nyc is definitely on that list. we'll see.

hometown kids crystal castles are the newest rock casualties, as singer alice glass got a concussion from the riot police during last weekend's hard festival. i've heard conflicting things about cc - both musical-skill wise and attitude-wise - but that's no way to end up in a hospital. yikes.

well, with a rapper name like "c-murder"... yeah, i know, it's just too easy.

also in the outrageous headlines file: man arrested for punching horse after lollapalooza. okay, so it was a police horse, which makes the whole arresting thing make a lot more sense, but it still looks pretty nutso on paper. also, poor horsey :(

(for the record, i'm not too arsed about missing lollapalooza last weekend -- i got my depeche mode fix at home a few weeks ago, and i hear the weather was absolute balls besides)

by the way, i really do have to say that if you're looking for a primo time-waster and excellent source of gut-busting humour, look no further than cracked. they've had too many articles to list lately that have made me die a little bit. just close your eyes and click.

oh yeah, and if you're the kind of person who keeps up with such things, i'm back to doing things here and there for chartattack, so you may see my name pop up on the occasional live/cd review there. doing what i can with what i've got.

[ music | kill hannah, "strobe lights" ]

Thursday, August 6, 2009

keep it moving

so much postmodern existential angst, so little time. but anyway.

(either way, the song i'm listening to now - "idiot heart" by sunset rubdown - is all too perfect for my life and mood these days. i mean, just check out the lyrics. uncanny! i love.)

all too perfect, and therefore a hoax: no jailhouse collaboration between phil spector and charles manson. i kind of figured as much - the whole manson thing has been a hot topic lately in our household, due to my boyfriend working on a very well-done manson docudrama last year that's just started airing now - but man, really, too perfect. double the psychopath for your money.

in just-as-likely news, gene simmons and trent reznor fight about being ageing rock stars. and gene didn't even use twitter to insult back! sign of the times.

speaking of disturbing,'s got a gallery of really bizarre album cover art. yeah, have fun with that.

as if it couldn't get any sadder, broken social scene will cover joy division's "love will tear us apart" for the soundtrack of the time traveler's wife. i reread the book over last long weekend and am further convinced it will be my sobfest '09. uncoincidentally, my boyfriend has no interest in seeing it with me. (and as i was reading the book and trying not to sob, he was fully engrossed in watchmen. ah, the differences of the sexes)

just got my copy of stripped: depeche mode in the mail! and yes, if the slightly changed title is any indication (as well as the more compact size -- i lugged my old copy back from los angeles in 2007 and it was like carrying a damn brick), it's the updated edition. i didn't even know such a thing existed. (it's got two more chapters, covering touring the angel and dave's last solo album) since i read the first edition from cover to cover, this is a super mega bonus! and i'm a nerd. thank you.

repping my temporary former scene and old toronto peeps in one: the georgia straight talks to keith carman of maximum rnr. keith is chartattack's original rock star writer, so respect is demanded. (i'd be pretty nervous to interview him myself, though. he's too damn good at being on the journo end of the mic!) and oh, they're playing the cobalt. excellent.

the two videos that are pretty much destroying me right now: nfl crunchtime and all about halifax. yes, they're old, but they completely appeal to my bizarre sense of humour. there is very little i find more funny than total randomness.

plenty of fun stuff to be done on the weekend: shopping for picture frames and potted plants, decorating apartment with said items, eye exam, cooking, ufc 101, cleaning, more shopping, neighbourhood explorations, parties, and the usual drinking/hangoutz/makeoutz with my man. sounds like many good plans.

[ music | sunset rubdown, "idiot heart" ]

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

oh seriously

okay, so.

i don't know if it's a safety net i have now, or a failsafe, or an escape hatch. but i do have something possible for next year, now, and i guess it'll all come down to how things go between the future and the present.

i have a good feeling, though. and i have faith, as always, that it'll all work out as it's supposed to.

hasn't failed me so far.

[ music | metric, "gimme sympathy" ]

avec plaisir

welcome to august, all.

so, here we are -- back from vacation, and with no photos, because i am functionally retarded. :( i even spent money on new batteries and everything. i guess i better vow to make august 2009 the month of photos, because looking back i've noticed there's only a few scant pics of me from this year. weird, i know.

but anyway! weekend was good. weekend was a nice big ball of relax. it didn't start so easily, given that friday was a post-work dash downtown in the muggy heat whilst hoisting two very heavy bags, then packing self onto a sold-out train alongside boyfriend (who'd been lucky enough to have time for a shower before meeting up). yet i'd forgotten how nice a ride the train is -- fast and smooth and nowhere near as anxiety-inducing as the plane. oh god, no more planes for a while plz.

so friday night in kingston was, predictably, spent at the toucan, a longtime favourite irish pub downtown that's frequented by anybody cool who's ever lived in my venerable hometown. (much boozing, of course, is key to beginning a relaxing long weekend.) from then on, saturday through monday evening, dean and i lounged by the backyard pool, drank a shitload, spent time with my parents and family on both sides, enjoyed much good food and barbeque (not very well-advised on my part, i suppose -- i ate a piece of steak the size of a deck of cards and spent most of saturday night unable to sleep due to indigestion), went on the haunted walk of kingston on a suitably creepy sunday night, and just generally had a good time on "vacation." staycation? well, sort of, i guess.

(also, thumbs up to the fact that my family quite likes my boyfriend and vice versa, so it was not uncomfortable in the slightest that he was around the whole time and interacting with my parents, stepsiblings, et cetera. well, not uncomfortable until my stepfather pulled out the really bad photos of a teenaged me. eeeeeep.)

but look -- admittedly, i had to really fight to keep from bursting into tears when my mom dropped us off at the train station last night, not to mention having to keep choking 'em back as the train pulled out. there's something i just...don't know about, i guess. i don't want to use the big scary d-word (rhymes with "epression") right yet, but i've been feeling so bummed out lately that i get sorta worried i'm slipping down that coast again. and i'm not sure if three days at home made it better or worse.

see, it feels good to have somebody take care of me and my needs. at home, in my adult life, i take care of me and my needs. that can be a real drag sometimes, not to mention incredibly, unbelievably draining. yet being with my family - spending time in my old familiar adolescent home with parents who love me and take care of me no matter how old i am or how much i fuck my life up - is a nice reassurance that they're there for me, that there's people out there who'll take care of me, if only for a few days. but when it's time to go back to the real world, it feels sort of crushing these days.

i think the cause of my bummed-out moodiness is the fact that i feel like i don't know where to go from here, in my life. i feel like i'm really at the what? stage, where i've got everything i wanted for years and years - a good steady job, an awesome boyfriend, a lovely apartment that we cohabitate - so now it's like okay...what do i have to look forward to, now? what do i have to work towards? what am i lacking that might make me happy in ways i'm not now? i can't even figure those things out. i've got everything i wanted, so why am i miserable a lot of the time?

i guess it's that whole "finding satisfaction in not being satisfied" thing.

and i guess the fact that i still can't really figure out my ennui is what's bothering me the most.

[ music | the black ghosts, "full moon" ]